Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are so many arguments that related to change and develop primary school education. Some people believe that primary schools focus more on formal learning rather than activies, giving less chances students to have time for outdoor play. I completely agree with this view because children should need more time to spend their time with families and friends with their age.

Classroom provides varieous kinds of knowledge to the children, preparing them for adults life.

An also outdoor activities enhace their skills such as co-opration, problem-solving and team work.

It teaches them to learn how to deal with others. For example, when group of children play together, they may improve their confident level and trying to solve their problem themselves especially when some arugument happend among them. As result, children's personality may improve, make them ready for future, especially team work help them to learn work as a group.

Another important factors is that children can enjoy their lives and spend more time with their collagues. It allows them to refresh their batteries. At that age, children couldn't focus and concentrate continuesly for their learning process. For example, if children spend several hours in classroom they may feel exhausted which in turn they may reduce interest in learning. Therefore taking break from traditional educatipm provides them to chance to enjoy education system. As a result, children return to classrom with refresh mind, enhancing their enthusiasm in learning.

Overall, although classroom provides formal education for children, giving a time for play is important , because it increses their confident level and have great impact on their personality. I believe combination of fomal education in primary school classrom with enough play time is best approach for children to develop their both personal and professional skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that play deserves more space alongside formal learning, and you address both the value of play and its place in the classroom. Relevant support includes children developing cooperation and problem-solving through group play, and becoming tired after several hours of lessons. The conclusion also reinforces the case for combining learning with play. This meets the task well, with some elements more fully addressed than others: the discussion focuses mainly on benefits of play, while the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning is not supported with specific evidence or examples. The point about spending time with family and friends is introduced but not developed. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how classroom practice could balance formal lessons and play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with each body paragraph focusing on a related benefit of play. Examples generally follow the ideas they illustrate, and phrases such as “For example,” “Therefore” and “Overall” help signal relationships. However, progression within sentences and between points is sometimes difficult to follow. The opening of the second paragraph, “Classroom provides varieous kinds of knowledge,” is not clearly connected to the argument, and “An also outdoor activities” makes the transition awkward. Some linking phrases are repetitive or mechanically applied, particularly “As a result.” Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to the main claim, and vary transitions so the organisation feels more continuous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “problem-solving,” “team work,” “concentrate” and “enthusiasm.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both educational and social development. However, the range is limited in places, and several inaccurate word choices, collocations and spelling errors make the expression less natural: “refresh their batteries,” “confident level,” “collagues,” and “traditional educatipm” are examples. Repetition of “children,” “play” and “learning” also limits flexibility. Aim to use more precise phrases, such as describing children as building confidence or taking a break from lessons, and check spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would make your ideas clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” “which” and “although.” This allows you to explain causes and give examples, as in the sentence about children feeling exhausted after several hours in class. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “children should need more time” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “Another important factors is” has a number-agreement error. “When group of children play together” also needs an article, and “At that age, children couldn't focus” uses a tense that does not fit the general point. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and use simpler constructions when a longer sentence becomes difficult to control.

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