Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While some argue that primary schools focus heavily on formal learning, I strongly disagree with this opinion because the most simple learning in primary schools are also done as a play where both teachers and students interact like they are playing a game and children loves this way of learning.

Children do not like to study unless there is stimulating and good interaction with the teachers. Consequently, teachers organize the whole lesson as fun and a play, such as reading the words as a song which stimulates the brain of the children and they start to sing those words as well, which makes them familiar to those words or topics. A student do not do numerical problems like an adult and the teachers know that and so they draws shapes and shows them real example which is lot like a play to these little childrens and this results in concentration of the students and better learning environment for the kids.

In almost every school, childrens are brought out to field to play as a routine basis and they participates in various sports activities, which creates varying topics for the students and so the lessons in classroom do not feel monotonous and they can concentrate properly. It is also seen that students are very eager to come to school the next day because it is fun to them.

Regarding the importance of playing as well as learning in the primary school classroom, I feel it is very important because the primary school classroom is not supposed to be a place for childrens where they go daily and go through multiple lessons one after another until the end. On contrary, it is a place where they interact with teachers as friends and learn respecting elders as well as other social characteristics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too heavily on formal learning, and you explain why play matters alongside lessons. The examples of singing words and using shapes to teach numerical ideas are relevant and help show how playful methods can support learning. You also address the social value of school in the final paragraph. However, the first part of the response mainly asserts that lessons are made fun, rather than examining whether formal learning receives too much emphasis. The point about playing outdoors is also not clearly connected to play within the classroom. Develop these ideas with a more direct comparison of formal instruction and play, and explain more fully how each benefits children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: it presents your position, gives examples of teaching through play, discusses outdoor activities, and then addresses the importance of play and learning. This makes the main line of argument understandable. However, some connections between ideas are loose. For example, the move from classroom activities to children playing in a field shifts away from the question’s focus on the classroom, and the link between sports and varied classroom topics is not fully explained. Several sentences also carry many ideas joined by “and,” “which,” or “so,” making the progression harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and divide long sentences so each paragraph develops one main point with explicit links between evidence and your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “stimulating,” “numerical problems,” “concentration,” “monotonous,” and “social characteristics.” These choices help communicate ideas about learning and children’s development. However, some word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise, such as “the most simple learning,” “real example,” and “creates varying topics.” Repetition of “play,” “children,” and “students” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and more precise descriptions of the educational benefits, such as engagement, retention, or social skills. Check word forms and collocations when revising, while keeping the vocabulary clear rather than forcing overly advanced expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “unless,” and “which,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement and plural forms: “children loves,” “A student do not,” and “they draws” should use matching verb forms. There are also issues with articles and sentence construction, as in “as a routine basis” and “On contrary.” Long sentences sometimes combine several clauses without clear control, which makes relationships between ideas less precise. To improve, check agreement and articles systematically, and break sentences containing multiple examples into shorter units. This would preserve your range of structures while making the writing more accurate and easier to read.

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