Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays there is concerning thig on today children education. Some group of people believe that early age school give too much priority to formal schooling as per my perspective other activities should be added to school curriculam.

First and foremost, School conducting lectures for on formal learning can help students learn theorotically can help them in memorizing formulas and long answers but it will not improve others skills like cognitive and physical. For instance student who is smart in history subject will ace in normal exams but will be in borderline in other activities which require muscle strength, fast reflexes. Further more children can think meticulously but left behind in practical skills.

Secondly, adding sports with some educational content added on student time table can enhance child overall performance. For example- addition a basketball match with some mathematical quiz will give multiple attributes to boast. For e.g. Basketball match can improve team coordination with players can gel up and using addition, subtraction in scores will help mathematically.

Moreover children experiencing this activities will make them excited and more engaging in the lectures they will be more interested in this kind of projects and class attendance will be close to 100 percent. More to add various competitions like drawing help them to elaborate their creativity in visual format. sports loke karate, judo can show them their physical endurance.

To conculed, formal style is not wrong but it helps only few attribute to unlock a balance approach will help student to unlock their full potential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you argue that formal lessons alone are insufficient and explain why play and activities matter. Examples such as basketball combining teamwork with mathematical practice, and drawing supporting creativity, are relevant. However, the position is not fully clear at the outset: “other activities should be added” does not directly state how far you agree that schools currently focus too much on formal learning. Several claims, including that activities will make attendance “close to 100 percent,” are asserted rather than explained or supported. The conclusion also refers to a “balance approach” without specifying what balance should look like. State your degree of agreement clearly, then develop fewer examples with more explanation of their benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly” and “Moreover” help signal the stages of your argument, and the examples generally follow the points they illustrate. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from memorising formulas to physical skills and practical ability without clearly linking these ideas. Some connectors are repetitive or awkward, and “For instance” and “For e.g.” introduce examples close together. The final paragraph also combines several different benefits without a clear organising sentence. Use topic sentences that state one main point, and connect each example explicitly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “cognitive,” “coordination,” “creativity” and “physical endurance.” These choices show an effort to express more than basic ideas. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning harder to understand, as in “thig,” “theorotically,” “boast” and “sports loke.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “multiple attributes” and “unlock their full potential.” Repetition of “help” and “children” limits the range. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe activities as “developing a range of skills” rather than “giving multiple attributes.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “but,” “which” and “will,” and the reader can usually identify your main ideas. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “School conducting lectures for on formal learning can help students learn theorotically can help them…” contains an incomplete or poorly joined structure, while “Basketball match can improve team coordination with players can gel up” joins clauses incorrectly. There are also problems with articles, agreement and punctuation, such as “student who is smart” and the run-on opening sentence. Build accurate short sentences first, then combine them using clear conjunctions and check articles and subject–verb agreement.

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