Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I agree that most of the primany schools focus too much on formal learning.

Primary school usually focus on formal learning to make the children a better person so they can be decent and mannerable in thier life.

Exercise and plays has an important role in life which can play a vital role in the physical as well as in the mental growth of a child in his early stages. Athough most of the schools mainly focus on learning ,however they also have try to make the children physically fit by allowing them to play in breaks and in the sports periods they are given. In many countries there are special breaks , sport days and sports periods for children in which they can play different kind of games as well.

Although no doubt that playing is an important part of life of the children because it not just help them grow physically and mentally but it also helps in making friends in thier childhood and it also build confidence in them and help them in becoming a social person in life.In many countries they are already allowing students to focus on sports and playing rather than just learning for example in China from the early childhood they allow children to play which help them in realizing the real talents of the children which remains mostly hidden due to excessive focus on formal leaning in other countries.

In my opinion playing is as important as learning and schools shouldn't only focus on formal learning rather they should try to to make children physically fit as well by letting them play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you explain why play matters, mentioning physical and mental development, confidence, and social skills. These points are relevant to both questions. However, the response only partly develops the argument: the opening claim that schools teach children to become “a better person” is not explained, and the China example is broad rather than supported with a specific detail. You also acknowledge that schools provide breaks and sports periods, but do not fully weigh this against your view that the balance is still wrong. Develop fewer points with clearer explanation and examples, and make your degree of agreement explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall shape: it introduces your position, discusses the role of exercise and play, and ends with a concluding opinion. Ideas such as physical growth, confidence, and making friends are grouped around the importance of play. However, progression is not consistently clear. The second paragraph begins with formal learning, then shifts to exercise and school sports, while the next paragraph repeats several benefits of play. Linking words such as “Although” and “however” are sometimes combined awkwardly, and the long final body paragraph contains several ideas without clear separation. Use distinct paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and conclusion; avoid repeating points and make each transition show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “physical,” “mental growth,” “confidence,” “sports periods,” and “formal learning.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “real talents” and “excessive focus.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “mannerable,” “plays,” “social person,” and “formal leaning” reduce precision. Spelling errors such as “primany,” “thier,” and “Athough” are noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for the benefits of play and the balance between academic instruction and recreation would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, for example, “Although no doubt that playing is an important part…” and the sentence about children’s talents in China. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to follow. Examples include “Primary school usually focus,” “Exercise and plays has,” and “it not just help them,” where subject–verb agreement and verb forms are incorrect. The sentence beginning “Although no doubt” lacks a complete grammatical structure, and several long sentences need clearer punctuation. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them using conjunctions; check agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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