Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today's parents are more focused towards children's education and their activities. Some people argue that primary school education should be focus on learning only. Similarly, playing and learning together in early ages in classroom is also important. However, i believe that student should study in relax surrounding where they have their freedom.

On the one hand, school is the main source of learning new things for children. However, at young age children are not much serious about studies, playing is the only thing they know. School is the only place where children learn discipline, learn new subjects, individiality and creativity. Therefore, in some school settings are strict in terms of teaching students each subject only with appropriate manner. For instance, primary schools are more strict towards teching subjects to their students because they want brilliant students from their school, and also they concern about school reputation. Thus, schools are always plan to teach students formally from day one.

On the other hand, playing is neccesary part of every student childhood. In some school setting classroom should more flexible where children can lear subject with playing. It is also important to sharpen their memory, gain practical knowledge with learning. Sometimes children have that fear of strict atmosphere at school. Thus, students couldn't find their ability to perform in academics and children may loose their interest in studies. Moreover, easy learning methods with playing gives children sense of freedom, they may feel happy and learn quicky.

In conclusion, primary schools formal learning make students intellectual at studies. However, learning with free atmosphere could make students happy and confident.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions: you discuss formal teaching and explain why play should also be part of classroom learning. Your position is that children benefit from a relaxed environment, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Relevant points include discipline and creativity, and the possibility that a strict atmosphere can reduce confidence or interest. However, the extent of your agreement is not consistently clear: the first body paragraph mainly explains why schools teach formally rather than directly evaluating whether they focus too much on it. Several claims, such as schools wanting “brilliant students” to protect their reputation, need clearer explanation or a specific example. Develop the comparison between formal instruction and play, and make your position explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This makes the main direction easy to follow. Some links are mechanical or do not show the relationship between ideas precisely; for example, “However” introduces a point that is not clearly contrasting with the preceding sentence, and “Thus” is repeated to connect conclusions. The first body paragraph also moves from discipline and creativity to school reputation without fully explaining the connection. Use transitions that express the exact relationship between points, and organise each paragraph around one central claim supported by explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “discipline,” “creativity,” “practical knowledge,” and “strict atmosphere,” which helps communicate your ideas about primary education. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less natural. Examples include “focused towards children's education,” “formal learning make students intellectual at studies,” and “learn subject with playing.” There are also spelling errors such as “individiality,” “neccesary,” and “quicky.” Aim to learn common word partnerships for education and play, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you express the contrast between structured instruction and learning through play.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because” and “where,” and most of your meaning can be followed. Some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms remain. For example, “primary school education should be focus” needs a passive form, while “primary schools formal learning make students” has unclear structure and subject–verb agreement. In “classroom should more flexible,” a verb is missing, and “children may loose their interest” contains an incorrect verb form. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “i.” Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and complete clauses; this will make your ideas easier to read.

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