Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some individuals believe that school focus too much on formal learning. I Completely agree with this idea, because those who study in primary school they are children age around 5-8. If primary school do not focus on formal learning, students will not be able to finish their homework and take a good leason.

There are varius reasons why it might be considered that secondary school should focus on formal learning rather than informal learning. Fistly, When students study in primary school, they do not like to study. They always want to enjoy their time by gossiping with their friends and playing sports. That is why, secondary school should focus on formal learning. If their teacher learn something in the school, they should finish it in the classroom.

Secondly, Parents never enforce their children during this period to study or to do anyother things. This is because parents think that if they give pressure on their children for studing or other taks, their children will get stressed. That is why they never request their minors to sit for studing after coming back to home from school, instead they allow them to play games or hang out with their friends. In UK, For example, primary school provide a lot of facilities in classroom, so that student can finish all of their studies in school. Besides, secondary school give allowence students what they like to do in the school, so that learners do not take learning as a pressure.

In conclusion, I argue that primary shoul should focus too much on formal learning rather than informal, because it helps students to take learning as entertaiment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is stated clearly at the start (“I Completely agree”), and you offer reasons involving children’s motivation, parental pressure and classroom activities. However, the response only partially addresses the actual questions. It does not explain convincingly why primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the claim that they should focus on formal learning instead conflicts with your stated agreement. The second question—how important play is alongside learning—is not directly answered or developed; play is mentioned mainly as something children prefer. The examples about UK schools are also unclear and do not support a consistent argument. To strengthen the response, state a clear view on both questions and explain, with a relevant example, how play can support children’s learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” helps identify the stages of your argument. However, there is no clear overall progression because the central position shifts: you say you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning, but then argue that they should focus on it. The second body paragraph also moves from parents’ attitudes to UK classroom facilities and then to secondary schools without clearly connecting these points. Some linking phrases, including “That is why,” are repeated, while references such as “this period” and “they” can be unclear. Organise each paragraph around one reason, connect its explanation to the question, and ensure the conclusion follows the same position as the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “primary school,” “pressure,” “stressed” and “facilities,” so the general subject is usually understandable. There are also attempts to express ideas such as “take learning as a pressure,” though this phrasing is not natural in English. Repetition of “study,” “school” and “children” limits variety, and several spelling or word-choice errors make parts less clear, for example “varius,” “leason,” “allowence” and “entertaiment.” Some expressions are imprecise, such as “give allowence students what they like to do.” Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing play and learning, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, use “learning through play” and “provide opportunities for pupils.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If primary school do not focus on formal learning, students will not be able to…” and a reason clause beginning “This is because…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence structure and basic grammar. Examples include “school focus” instead of a plural subject with a matching verb, “those who study in primary school they are children,” and “Parents never enforce their children,” where the sentence pattern is incomplete or unclear. Articles, plurals and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “primary school provide” and “secondary school give.” Review subject–verb agreement and practise building clear sentences with one main idea, then check punctuation and capitalisation.

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