Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It certainly cannot be dennied that primary schools focus excessive amount of formal learning, the benefits of traditional education are obvious, as life has become easier and more convenient but schools should strike a balance between play and academic. In my opinion, both are equally important to overall growth.

On the one hand, formal learning helps students to develop critical thinking and analytical abilities also provides fundamental knowledge and academic skills. Subjects like maths, science, english are help them to prepare for their future and to get better job opportunities in future. While, during academic pressure number of students can be stressed and depressed because of examination and homework deadlines. Although, education is essential part of everyones life, extra curricular activities are equally important. I believe, schools should strike a balance between formal education and sports activities.

On the other hand, sports is an essential part of students because it contributes to children's physical, social and emotional development. Through outdoor games and other creative activities, teenagers can improve their physical fitness, teamwork and develop problem solving abilities and learn how to communicate with others. For example participating in sports team they can learn coordination, dicipline and how to handle both success and failure. In additon, some students can not good at academics so sports is a great opportunity to shine and it will also helps in their future because sports are increasingly popular all around the world. Furtheremore, these practical skills can not develop through traditional classroom learning. In my opinion, teachers should balance between both and conduct sports events so learning can be more enjoyble and effective along with sports.

In conclude, elementary education are indispensible for their academic development but play are also essential for children's overall growth. So i strongly believe that balanced education system improve confidence, health and well-rounded individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you recognise the value of formal learning while arguing that play and academic study should be balanced. You address both questions, explaining the benefits of classroom learning and why play supports children’s physical, social and emotional development. Examples such as teamwork and learning to handle success and failure are relevant. This meets the task well, and the discussion shows some development beyond simply stating an opinion. However, the response sometimes shifts from play in the classroom to sports events and future sports careers, so the importance of play as part of classroom learning is not always explored directly. The point about academic pressure is also introduced but not developed. Explain these ideas further and connect each example more explicitly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting aspects, and a conclusion. The progression from academic benefits and pressure to the value of sports and creative activities is generally understandable. You also use signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In addition.” However, some links feel mechanical, and the first body paragraph contains several ideas without a clear sequence. “Although” and “While” introduce relationships that are not fully completed, which interrupts the flow. The conclusion repeats the balance argument rather than drawing together the main reasons. Use clearer topic sentences, group related points, and make links between claims and examples more explicit; this would make the organisation feel more consistently controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “critical thinking,” “analytical abilities,” “physical fitness,” “teamwork,” and “well-rounded.” These choices help communicate relevant ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “sports is an essential part,” “shine,” and “learning can be more enjoyable and effective along with sports.” Spelling errors, including “dennied,” “dicipline,” “additon,” and “Furtheremore,” also detract from accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe play as supporting “children’s development” and say that students can “excel in areas beyond academic study,” rather than relying on less precise phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “although,” and “so,” and your main meaning is usually clear. However, some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms remain. For example, “Subjects like maths, science, english are help them” has an incorrect verb construction, while “sports is an essential part” and “elementary education are” show agreement problems. The opening sentence also joins several independent ideas with commas, making the structure difficult to follow. In the conclusion, “play are also essential” has a subject–verb agreement error. Review sentence boundaries and check that subjects and verbs agree; then proofread articles and verb forms. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen your varied sentence attempts.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.