Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I am agree upto certain extent with this opinion beacuse currently in early schooling culture inclued both formal education, online learning and sports activities.

Formal education mainly focuses on classrooms based learning, in which students have physical interaction with their teachers and classfellows. This approach helps the individuals to clear their queries from their respected teachers due to their direct access to them. In formal education children can learn and experience new skills by performing physical actions for example performing an experiement in school laboratory in the presence of thier teachers. Which is a good approach of formal learning.

On the otherhand informal or online education have their own benefits, for example online learning can save their money which students spends in terms of transport. Online learning also save time for students they can get knowledge or attend their classes from their homes. Overall online learning can give benefits to many students by saving their money, time and reducing the risk of accedints.

I think it is very important for children to play in their classrooms along with their learning. Sports helps students in many ways, for example by doing exercise children can feel relaxed and keep them fresh. Exercise makes the students creative because it increase blood supply to brain which can enhance their memory. During physical activities children spend mote time outdoor which can prevent their eyesight also as they will have less exposure to mobile screens, which can affect their vision due to prolong use.

In conclusion, both formal and online education are very necessary during primary schooling both have their own benefits so a moderate approach will be best. It is also very important for children health to play in their classrooms which keep them healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear, qualified position in the opening (“I am agree upto certain extent”) and address both formal learning and the value of play. The examples of teacher-supported experiments and exercise helping children feel refreshed are relevant. However, the discussion does not fully answer whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning: much of the second body paragraph shifts to the advantages of online education, which is not the central issue, and the conclusion introduces a balance between formal and online education rather than clearly resolving the question. Several claims, such as exercise improving memory and outdoor activity protecting eyesight, are asserted briefly without explanation. Develop the comparison between classroom instruction and play, and support your position with more directly relevant reasoning and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphing generally groups related points, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help the reader follow the broad direction. However, progression is weakened because the paragraph about online education moves away from the task’s focus on formal learning and classroom play. Some links between ideas are also abrupt: the laboratory example is followed by a sentence fragment beginning “Which is a good approach,” and the conclusion does not clearly draw together the earlier discussion of play. Repeated use of “for example” and “also” makes cohesion somewhat mechanical. Keep each paragraph focused on one part of the question and use clearer references to connect explanations to the main argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal education,” “physical interaction,” “laboratory,” “physical activities” and “memory.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “blood supply to brain.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable, including “beacuse,” “experiement,” “accidents” misspelled as “accedints,” and “mote” for “more.” Some collocations are unnatural or unclear, such as “classrooms based learning,” “clear their queries,” and “keep them fresh.” These choices sometimes make the reader pause, even though the intended meaning is usually recoverable. Build accuracy by learning common academic collocations and checking spelling, and choose precise terms for the contrast between teacher-led instruction and play-based learning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including explanations with “because” and a relative clause in “which can enhance their memory.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but errors occur often enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to follow. Examples include “I am agree” and “online learning also save,” where the verb forms do not match the subject, as well as “students spends,” which has incorrect agreement. The sentence beginning “Which is a good approach” is a fragment, and the long sentence about outdoor activity and eyesight has unclear structure and punctuation. Articles and plural forms are also inconsistent. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check subject–verb agreement and punctuation before adding explanations.

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