Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A number of people contend that primary schools focus too much on only learning about syllabus rather than focusing on the others extra curriculam activities.

I completely agree with this statement because most of the primary level schools rely on strict time schedule and also vast syllabus.

The low level sochools should think about children to play as well as learn in the classroom. There are several advantages of providing time to play for children. Firstly, it helps to keep physically fit those who play regullary on the play ground.

The schools can focus on several indoor (chess, quiz competition) and outdoor game ( football, cricket, volleyball and so on). Secondly, the children can be also became a professional player in the future if they continue to play or focus on their game strength. For example, Sachin Tendulkar who was focused from his childhood now, he is known as the father of cricket. So, the schools should promote to involve in various game to their students.

On the other hand, the schools should also focus on formal learning, which has several positive impact on the students behaviour as well as their carrier development. Firstly, the schools teach to their students about basic things like how to behave with other people, which help to become them good human being. Additionaly, the schools also provide theoritical knowlwdge by teaching various course books to their students, which play an importan role to expand their way of thinking and broader knowledge about certain topic.

In conclusion, the both playing and learning are very important for kids because both helps to became a sucessful person as a professional.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you completely agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you address both the value of play and the continuing importance of academic learning. Relevant support includes the physical benefits of regular play and the example of Sachin Tendulkar. However, some points are less fully developed than others. The claim that children may become professional players is quite narrow, and the example would be stronger if you explained how schools can balance play with classroom learning. Your discussion of formal education gives useful examples, such as behaviour and theoretical knowledge, but does not directly explain how much emphasis schools should place on it. Develop these points with clearer reasoning and a more explicit comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces your view, discusses play, considers formal learning, and ends with a conclusion. Paragraphs are generally focused, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main stages. Some connections are mechanical, however, and the relationship between ideas is not always clear. For example, the move from physical fitness to becoming a professional player presents two benefits but does not explain how they relate to classroom play. The conclusion also repeats the two sides without drawing together your position on their relative importance. Use linking phrases that show cause, contrast, or consequence, and make references such as “both” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physically fit,” “professional player,” and “theoretical knowledge.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “strict time schedule” and “broader knowledge.” However, the range is limited in places, and noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision. Examples include “extra curriculam activities,” “regullary,” “carrier development,” and “expand their way of thinking.” Some phrases, such as “focus on their game strength,” are difficult to interpret naturally. Build a more accurate set of expressions for play-based learning and academic development, and check spelling and collocations carefully so your ideas sound clear and idiomatic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “if,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “the children can be also became” combines incompatible verb forms, while “both helps” does not agree with its plural subject. In “which help to become them good human being,” the clause structure and pronoun placement are unclear. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though your main points can generally be followed. Practise forming accurate clauses with relative pronouns and modal verbs, and check subject–verb agreement and articles when editing.

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