Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary school is a place where a young child not only learn but also play. But primary schools nowadays focus too much on academic activities. However, I think, schools need to focus both on learning and playing activities of a child.

Currently, primary school schedule are strictly directed towards achieving academic goals. Children go to school in the morning and take classes till the afternoon. Children do not have time or the administration does not allow them to play sports. Even in Pakistan, most of the schools do not have playgrounds. Schools are highly congested because of less space. Students get exausted from tough and regular academic routine. Also, when children come home, they do not have time to play because they need to complete the school homework. So, currently the school routine is highly exaustive with less space for sports activities.

On the other hand, academic learning and playing needs to go hand in hand. Many studies shows that healthy physique leads to healthy mind. A sport activity can build the sound pysique of a child. Morover, a break from study is necessay to refresh the mind. In addition, play develop some qualities in a child which can help a child to achieve an academic success. Sports help a child develop confidence and leadership qualities which can be helpful not only in academic life but also personal life as well.

In conclusion, primary schools should not focus too much on formal learning. Physical activity is as necessay as academic activity and ought not to be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that schools should balance formal learning with play, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address both the emphasis on academic work and the value of classroom activity, using relevant examples such as limited playground space in Pakistan and the benefits of sport for confidence and leadership. This covers the task well, but the two questions are not developed equally: the discussion of academic pressure is more detailed, while the importance of play specifically within the classroom is less explicit. Some claims, such as “Many studies shows,” are asserted rather than explained or supported. To strengthen the response, explain how play-based classroom activities support learning and develop one or two examples in greater depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present the problem and the benefits of play, and a conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In addition” help guide the reader. However, some connections feel mechanical, and repeated references to children’s lack of time and space make the first body paragraph less focused. The opening “But” followed by “However” also creates an unnecessary contrast. Some references, such as “a child” repeated several times in the same sentence, could be made more concise and varied. Grouping related points more tightly and using clearer links between cause and effect would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “academic goals,” “congested,” “physique,” “leadership qualities,” and “academic success.” These choices show an attempt to go beyond very basic language. However, the range is uneven, and several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “exausted,” “exhaustive,” “pysique,” “Morover,” and “necessay” are misspelled, while “sound physique” is an unnatural collocation. Phrases such as “playing activities” and “sports activity” are also repeated or imprecise. These errors do not prevent the main message from being understood, but they limit the naturalness and accuracy of expression. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations, such as “physical activity” and “a healthy body.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and more complex forms, including a contrast clause in “Although” is not used, but you do connect ideas with “because” and “which can be helpful.” Most sentences communicate their meaning, though some grammatical errors remain. For example, “a young child not only learn” needs subject–verb agreement, and “primary school schedule are” has a singular/plural mismatch. “Many studies shows” also requires agreement, while “play develop” needs a plural subject or a different verb form. There are some attempts to combine ideas, but the range of sentence structures is limited and several patterns are repeated. Practise checking agreement and vary sentence openings and clause structures to improve control.

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