Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years , few masses think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I patially agree with this statement and give my opinion on this matter.it play crucial role in student life

On the other hand, there are sevaral reason of school focus on too much formal learning . One major reason is it helps to improve their miastakes and academic performances. To ellaborate it when student do more concentrate on their formal learning it helps to improve their mistakes and they can easily acheive better marks in their exams Moreover it hepls to gives more opportunities. when children start formal learning their study level is better and they have more knowledge after their academic study thet can easily acheive jobs .

On the other hand, there are many negative impact of begin learning from primary schools, Firstly, students can face many difficulties. To explicate it, when pupils spend there more time on their study they feel mentaly exhausted and they have more budden about their study because this age enjoy for children. Furhermore, it can become stressful students when pupils do not physicalm activities they can become stressful because they spend their all time on study and they do not conversation with their friends they may feel borred.

To conclude, there are many negative nad positive effects of formal learning start from primary school such as it helps to acheive better marks in their academic performance HOwever it can cause of depression because student do not physical activities and spend their all time on learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present a partial position with “I partially agree,” and discuss both potential benefits of formal learning and drawbacks of too much study. The points about academic performance and children feeling exhausted are relevant, but they are mostly asserted rather than explained or supported with a specific example. The second question—how important play is alongside learning in the classroom—is not answered directly: you mention physical activities and time with friends, but do not explain how play supports children’s development or learning. Your conclusion repeats the positive and negative effects without clarifying the extent of your agreement. Develop a clear position and address both questions explicitly, using a relevant example to support your reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the contrast between benefits and drawbacks is generally recognisable. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: several ideas are added without clear explanation, and the conclusion largely repeats earlier points rather than drawing them together. “On the other hand” is used to introduce both sides, so the relationship between paragraphs is not always signalled accurately. Some links, such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore,” are mechanical, while unclear references in phrases such as “it helps” make it difficult to identify the subject. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in sequence, and use linking expressions only when they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a limited but relevant set of vocabulary to discuss schooling, including “academic performances,” “opportunities,” “mentally exhausted” and “stressful.” These choices help convey the general topic, but repetition of “formal learning,” “study” and “students” restricts the range. Several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, for example “miastakes,” “acheive,” “budden” and “borred.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “more concentrate on their formal learning” and “it can become stressful students.” Build a more accurate range of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For instance, you could describe play as supporting “social development” or “problem-solving,” rather than relying mainly on general references to activities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “because” and “when.” However, the range is limited, and complex attempts are often faulty. For example, “when student do more concentrate” has problems with the clause structure and subject–verb agreement, while “it can become stressful students” lacks a grammatical connection between the ideas. Errors with articles, plurals and verb forms also occur, as in “many negative impact” and “when children start formal learning their study level is better.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly where sentences run together or begin with lowercase letters. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly formed subordinate clause, then check agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.