Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent time , it has been noticed that many people argue that formal learning has been too much in highlight for primary schools. In my opinion , I partially agree that formal learning should be priortised more. Nevertheless, a few refute this idea as it may negativey stress out students. Therefore, playing should also be important with study as it calm one mind .

One of the demerits that can be noticed is childrens for primary school are newly learning everything and focusing too much on subjects like maths or other difficult subjects can stress them out and one gets overwhelmed this all the tasks. For a example, my nephew just passed his 1st grade and his school focused more on teaching new subjects everyday which can make one confused. As a result, children can forgot old things that were taught to them if not given effecient time to study . Therefore, this disadvantages should not be ignore just the sake of finishing the given time period.

Moving to the next topic, at that age in primary school students should also be taught new games or something creative such as how to make paper boats . To demonstrate , In my school, all the primary grade students had two or three activities added in ones timetable such as going to play sports , doing activities as making items from sratch , As a result, children never go bored and were energatic throughout the day due to the motivation of quicklly finishing the work so that students get to play. Ergo, having recreational activities side by side learning encourges students to look forward and attend the classes with energy.

In conclusion, I recommend that schools should not only focus on learning but playing also because both of them are equally beneficial in students growing .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and give a recognisable position: you partly agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, while arguing that play should also have a place. The discussion of stress and your nephew’s experience is relevant, and the example of classroom activities supports the value of play. However, the position is not fully consistent: “formal learning should be priortised more” seems to conflict with the view that schools focus on it too much. The reasons are also unevenly developed. You explain possible stress and boredom, but do not clearly establish how much formal learning is appropriate or explain in detail how play supports children’s development. Clarifying your stance and extending these links would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing related points, and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally progress from the possible drawbacks of intensive formal study to the benefits of classroom activities. You also use linking expressions such as “For example,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion” to signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, these links feel mechanical or do not accurately show the relationship: “Ergo” is an awkward transition, and “As a result” introduces an outcome that is not clearly connected to the preceding example. Some references, such as “this all the tasks” and “both of them,” are unclear. Use simpler, more precise transitions and make each sentence’s connection to the main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss schooling, stress, and recreation, including relevant terms such as “overwhelmed,” “timetable,” “activities,” and “motivation.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “recreational activities” and “finishing the work.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling sometimes make the meaning less natural: “formal learning has been too much in highlight,” “calm one mind,” and “students growing” are not idiomatic in context. Errors such as “priortised,” “effecient,” and “quicklly” also reduce accuracy. Aim for common, precise collocations rather than translating ideas word for word, and proofread spelling and word forms. This would make your adequate range more flexible and clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “which,” “if,” and “so that.” This allows you to explain causes and consequences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For example, “children can forgot old things” has an incorrect verb form, while “children are newly learning everything” and “one gets overwhelmed this all the tasks” have faulty sentence construction. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and agreement, as in “For a example” and “this disadvantages should not be ignore.” Work on accurate verb forms and complete sentence patterns first, then check articles and subject–verb agreement. More reliable complex sentences would strengthen the response.

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