Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Is is argued by some people that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning such as reading , writing and mathematics and they ignored others important things . I partly agree with his opnion because while formal learning is necessary children also need to learn social and practical skills . On the one hand formal learning is the base of education . In primary school children learn how to read write and do basic math . Without these skills they cannot succeed in higher classes .For example if a child cannot read properly he will face many problems in every subject . Therefore schools must focus on academic subject . On the other hand too much focus on formal learning can be harmful . Young children learn best through play , creativity and interaction . If they are forced to sit for long hours and only do homework and test they lose interst in learning and become stressed . They also miss the chance to develop skills like teamwork , communication , confidence and problem solving which are very important for their future life . In my opinion primary schools should have a balance . They should teach formal subjects , but also include sports , art , music , and group activites . For instance in Finland , primary schools give more time to play and practical learning , and their students still get very good results . In conclusion , I agree that primary schools should not focus only on formal learning . A balanced education that combines academic learning with play and life skills is the best way tp prepare children for the future .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response addresses both questions and maintains a clear, consistent position: you partly agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis and argue for a balance between academic work and play. The reasons are relevant, including the value of foundational literacy and numeracy, and the risks of stress and missed opportunities to develop teamwork and communication. You also support your view with an example about reading and a reference to Finland. This fits the descriptor because the main ideas are extended and supported, although some claims remain broad—for example, the Finland comparison is not explained in detail, and the benefits of play could be illustrated more specifically. Developing one or two examples further would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, a paragraph proposing balance, and a conclusion. The progression from the case for formal learning to the drawbacks of overemphasis and then to your recommendation is easy to follow. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers navigate the argument, and the paragraphs each have a recognisable focus. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some features of stronger organisation. However, cohesion relies heavily on familiar transition phrases, and some links between points are abrupt, particularly the move from the list of life skills to the Finland example. Use more varied referencing and connect examples explicitly to the claim they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “practical skills,” “interaction,” “teamwork,” and “problem solving.” These choices make the argument relevant and generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, such as “opnion,” “interst,” “activites,” and “tp.” Some phrases are also imprecise or unnatural, including “academic subject” and “their future life.” These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your position, but they reduce accuracy and flexibility. Aim to check spelling carefully and build a wider set of natural collocations for education, child development, and classroom activities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional example (“if a child cannot read properly he will face many problems”) and a contrast clause beginning “because while formal learning is necessary.” The overall meaning remains clear, and the paragraph structure helps the reader follow your points. However, grammatical control is uneven, with errors in sentence construction, articles, plurals, and punctuation. For example, “they ignored others important things” has an unclear tense and an incorrect plural form, while “do basic math” needs clearer parallel structure with “read” and “write.” Commas are also missing after introductory clauses and around some lists. Practise accurate sentence patterns and punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.