Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many mankind believe that junior institutions focus alot on formal education. In my view it's important for children to paticipate in sports while studying in junior campus but I believe there are few drawback of enagaging more in sports, therefore, a balance bewteen learning and sports is compulsory for young people.

Most of success sport person are those who enagage themselves in specific game during young age and it paly a vital role in growth of children. We seen many big names like Messi, Ronaldo who spent their early age in sports and now whole wolrd known them. Although not everyone have chance or opporunities to be like them but there are few things we should keep in mind while enagage kids in activity like sports. It helps phyiscally and mentally; for instance play different games have positive impact on your health, you stay fit for long time with that it encourage you to become a good person. Furthermore it helps you to save yourself for bad habit like consuming drugs, prevent wasting your time in activities which are danger for your future career.

While in the other hands we have been observe most of young people are addicited to sports, spend more of the time playing games rahter then making balance bewteen their studies and sports. In developing countries like pakistan have no future of football and it remains same for upcoming few years but I have been watching different young invest themselves in football and end with giving up.

In conclusion, playing sports during in junior campus is important but I believe there should be a balance between education and sport. There should be proper instructions given by schools management and it's parents duty to look after their kids and help them to balance among sports and study.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a relevant position: children should take part in sport, but learning and sport need to be balanced. The response also offers reasons, including physical and mental benefits and the risk of children spending too much time playing. However, the task asks specifically whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and how important play is in the classroom. Your discussion shifts mainly to sport as a route to becoming a professional athlete, using Messi and Ronaldo, and does not clearly assess formal learning or classroom play more broadly. The point about young people investing in football in Pakistan is also left without a clear explanation of its relevance. Develop each part of the question directly and support your position with a classroom-based example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the contrast between the benefits and possible drawbacks of sport gives the reader a basic line of argument. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “While,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the discussion moves from famous footballers to health, good behaviour and avoiding drugs without clearly connecting each point. The Pakistan example is also not fully explained. Some transitions are awkward or repetitive, including “While in the other hands.” Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal education,” “vital role,” “positive impact,” “addicted,” and “balance.” These choices show an effort to discuss both benefits and risks. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response harder to understand, such as “Many mankind,” “junior campus,” “whole wolrd known them,” and “save yourself for bad habit.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “good person” does not explain the intended benefit, while “no future of football” is unclear in context. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “physical development,” “classroom activities,” and “academic progress” would help you address the question directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a contrast introduced by “Although” and a concluding sentence with “but.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Most of success sport person are” has problems with the article, noun form and agreement; “We seen many big names” uses an incorrect verb form; and “most of young people are addicited to sports, spend” does not form a clear grammatical sentence. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check tense and agreement in every sentence, especially when describing general facts.

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