Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus excessively on formal learning.

I agree that playing is important to children as well as learning in the primary school classroom. Because it will help kids to develop soft skills and personalities.

Traditional educational system, especially primary school, tend to focus too much on the formal learning. Most of the curricullums include teaching necessary academic skills, such as learning how to read a text and how to solve a math problems. As a result, kids spend most of their time on learning and doing homeworks, barely have time to play with their friends.

This approach puts so much pressure on kids and they lack of necessary skills in real life. Nowadays, more and more people reliazes that this and changing their approaches to balance a learning and a playing. Playing helps children to develop soft skills and personalities. When children play with each other, they learn how to regulate their emotion and how to treat each other properly. And certain plays have vital impact on the personalities of kids. For example, if kids usually play outdoor as a group, they would be an exterverted person when they grow up and visa versa.

In conclusion, playing as important as learning in the primary school classrooms because it has an impact on the development of soft skills and personalities of kids.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that play is important alongside formal learning, and you give relevant reasons, including pressure from academic work and the development of social skills. The example of children learning to regulate emotions also supports your view. However, the response addresses the task only partially: it does not fully explain how important play should be in classroom learning, and the claim that outdoor group play makes children extroverted is broad and not well supported. The conclusion repeats your main point rather than extending it. The response is also 24 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your ideas. Explain more specifically how schools can balance lessons and play, and add a developed example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from your position to reasons and then a conclusion. The paragraph about pressure from formal study leads logically into the discussion of play and social development. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links feel mechanical or incomplete. For example, “Because it will help kids…” is a sentence fragment, while “Nowadays, more and more people reliazes that this and changing their approaches” does not clearly connect its ideas. Repeated references to “playing,” “learning,” and “kids” also make the development feel repetitive. Use complete sentences, clarify what “this” refers to, and organise each body paragraph around one main point supported by explanation or an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic skills,” “soft skills,” and “regulate their emotion,” so your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as “necessary skills in real life.” However, the range is limited and some word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the response less natural. Examples include “a math problems,” “doing homeworks,” “a learning and a playing,” and “certain plays.” Spelling errors such as “curricullums,” “reliazes,” “exterverted,” and “visa versa” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling, word forms, and whether nouns are countable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect structure with “As a result” and a conditional example beginning “if kids usually play outdoors.” The main ideas can usually be followed, but errors recur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and plurals. For instance, “Because it will help kids…” is a fragment, “primary school, tend to focus” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, and “a math problems” combines an incorrect article with a plural noun. The sentence beginning “Nowadays” also lacks a clear grammatical structure. To improve, make sure each sentence has a complete main clause, check singular and plural forms, and practise accurate complex sentences rather than joining ideas loosely.

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