Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, the others think that children need to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.

In the one hand , young child needs to start formal learning as they young they can, because learning how to be formal in your young is quality that will grow up with you, knowing the basics of education, when you grow up you will not find communication problems with people.

Formal learning means serious education, some children had problems with focus on studying, if you don't hake serious learning in young age and fix the problem of focus on your studies, you will not fix it when you are older, so this qualities you make in a young age.

in the other hand, primary school is for children of six, seven, eight and nine years old, they still children, don't know how to study and act. If they took directly a serious education they won't get it. A child that was all the previous year just playing and having fun, you put him directly in a school and he start learning, he will understand nothing.

Some young teachers are creating a new methods of studying, they think about young children how they will receive the infromation. They create a simple ways of game and fun activities for their children just to help them in their studies. This is a modern and a useful way to make children focus, love, excited for their studys.

without a new methods of education children will never love their studies

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both questions by discussing formal learning and the value of play, and your final point clearly supports using games and activities to help children learn. However, your position is not consistently clear: the opening presents two opposing views, while the body gives reasons for both without stating how far you agree. Several ideas are only briefly explained, such as the claim that early formal learning prevents later communication problems. The example of a child moving from play directly into school is relevant but needs clearer explanation and support. The response also falls five words short of the 250-word minimum; the 20 words copied from the task prompt do not count. State your view directly and develop each reason with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and separate paragraphs for contrasting views, followed by a point about teaching methods. This gives the reader some sense of the discussion. However, progression is not always clear: the first body paragraph moves from formal learning to communication problems and then focus, without showing how these points connect. Linking phrases such as “In the one hand” and “in the other hand” are inaccurate, and the final sentence repeats the idea that children need to enjoy studying rather than providing a developed conclusion. Use clear paragraph purposes, accurate transitions such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding paragraph that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “focus,” “education,” and “activities,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “learning how to be formal,” “a serious education,” and “make children focus, love, excited.” Spelling errors, including “infromation” and “studys,” also reduce accuracy. These issues sometimes make the reader work to understand your intended meaning. Build a more precise set of education-related phrases and check spelling and word forms. For example, describe “structured lessons” and “engaging activities,” and explain that these can “help children concentrate and enjoy learning.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and conditional structures, for example, “if you don't … and fix the problem …, you will not fix it when you are older.” This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas. However, the range is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. Examples include “young child needs,” “as they young they can,” “they still children,” and “he start learning”; these show problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the lowercase start of “in the other hand” and the final sentence. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex structures with correct subjects and verbs.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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