Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Critics argue about the educational institution often centrepoint the academics throughout the year or years.

I agree with the proportion of people who believe that Formal Education is much important as extra curricular studies

I firmly believe that formal education is necessary to be concentrated upon for the future of the learners to develop the skills that are needed for futher education and employment however; The sole concentrartion should not be on the academics but balanced across several aspect for instance Development of the character, Extra curriculum activities like sports sudoko chess and Physical education should also be focuced the reason stated that it help the students with their mental deveopment, learning, character building, socialising and team work. In my opinion these skills are very vital for the children to have they build team work leadership accounabiliy traits in the children along with physcial strength and building stamina and endurancev which also plays an important role in the next stages of life managing and providing for family accountability and to deal with the hurdles of life.

Balaning the studies with playing and thoughtful activities might help in studies , concentration and building connections with fellow players, It is often witnessed that many chidrens are introvert and do not socialise with other children and the focus on their studies and spend time on their phones or parents my experience is that these type on introvert children should not be left unseen and they should be inquired and told to that they need to play and involve in sports and other activites that they like

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is broadly clear: you support formal learning but argue that it should be balanced with play and other activities. You address both questions by explaining that sports and games can develop social skills, teamwork, character and physical strength. These are relevant reasons, and the example of children who are introverted gives the discussion a personal perspective. However, the extent of your agreement is not stated precisely, and some points are asserted rather than explained—for example, the link between classroom play and later family responsibilities is not made clear. Develop fewer ideas with specific classroom examples, and explain more directly how play should sit alongside formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the opening introduces the issue, the next paragraph presents your position and supporting benefits, and the final paragraph discusses socialising and play. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first two statements are brief and the main argument is packed into one long paragraph. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear, particularly where the discussion moves from teamwork and stamina to managing a family. Linking phrases such as “however” and “for instance” are attempted, but punctuation and sentence boundaries make their relationships hard to track. Use a clear introduction, separate body paragraphs for learning and play, and a conclusion that restates your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of relevant vocabulary, including “character building,” “team work,” “concentration,” “leadership” and “stamina and endurance.” This gives you some means of discussing educational and personal development. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause, as in “futher,” “concentrartion,” “accounabiliy” and “chidrens.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “the proportion of people” and “extra curricular studies”; the latter does not clearly distinguish extracurricular activities from formal learning. Proofread carefully and choose standard collocations, such as “a balance between academic learning and extracurricular activities,” to make your meaning more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate ideas, including a sentence beginning “I firmly believe that formal education is necessary…” This shows an effort to express complex reasoning. However, several long sentences are not controlled, and punctuation often fails to separate complete ideas. For example, the sentence beginning “I firmly believe” runs through multiple points and uses “however” incorrectly after a semicolon. There are also errors in sentence construction and agreement, such as “it help the students” and “many chidrens are introvert.” Break long sentences into shorter units, check subject–verb agreement and plural forms, and use full stops and commas to show how ideas relate.

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