Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There are some speicific proportion of people people who argue that primary schools place too much emphasis on academic learning rather than allowing them to enjoy playful activities. i strongly agree with his view because young learners need more than textbooks and examination to develop their brain and thinking ability. In my opinion playing is equally important to formal education during childhood.

On the one hand, formal education plays a significant role in today's world to building a strong foundation for children's future. Subjects such as science, maths, history or other languages help them develop basic knowledge and improve their intellectual abilities. Excessive pressure on young students to achieve high grades can make learning more stressfull and it will reduce their interest in education or studies. At early age childrens should be encouraged to explore new things rather than simply memorise information.

On the other hand, i believe that playing should be an essential part of primary school education. Activities like outdoor games, music, drawing and group projects help childrens to develop creativity, multi tasking and problem solving with the friends and they will learn how to do work with other. This will make them learn about cooperation and leadership in future, they will respect other and their thinking ability will be enhnaced. Moreover, childrens should participate in sport activities and competitions, which leads them to learn teamwork and discipline in a practical way.

In adition, recreational activities help children remain physically active and reduce academic stress and burden. A balanced combination pf studying and playing can make the learning process more enjoyable and effective. Teacher and parents should introduce these activities ontp their learning session instead of relying entirley on lecture and wrtten assignments

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that primary schools should give children more than formal academic learning, and you directly state that play is equally important. You address both parts of the prompt by discussing the value of academic subjects and explaining how games, creative activities and group work can support social, intellectual and physical development. Examples such as teamwork, discipline and reducing stress are relevant, and the conclusion recommends a balance between study and play. To develop the response further, explain a few claims more specifically—for instance, show how a classroom activity might build problem-solving skills, rather than listing several benefits. Some points, such as leadership and respect, are asserted without much supporting explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on formal learning, a paragraph on play, and a concluding point about balance. The contrast signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main progression, and the ideas generally remain grouped by topic. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation, while the use of paragraphing and linking shows some features of stronger control. However, connections within sentences are sometimes awkward, particularly in the long sequence beginning “This will make them learn about cooperation and leadership.” The final paragraph also starts with “In addition” even though it functions as a conclusion. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and make the concluding role explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “intellectual abilities,” “creativity,” “problem solving,” “cooperation” and “teamwork.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but the range and control are uneven, which limits precision. Several spelling errors are noticeable, including “speicific,” “stressfull,” “adition,” “entirley” and “wrtten.” There are also awkward or inaccurate expressions such as “multi tasking,” “do work with other” and “a balanced combination pf studying and playing.” These do not prevent understanding overall, but they can make the reader pause. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases, such as “develop problem-solving skills” and “work with others.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the contrast between the benefits of formal education and those of play. Some sentences communicate their meaning clearly, such as “Activities like outdoor games, music, drawing and group projects help…” However, errors in agreement, articles, verb patterns and sentence construction recur. For example, “primary schools place too much emphasis … rather than allowing them” has an unclear reference, while “plays a significant role … to building” uses an incorrect verb pattern. In “Teacher and parents should introduce these activities,” the subject and verb form do not agree, and the final sentence lacks a full stop. Aim to make each sentence’s subject clear, check singular and plural agreement, and use a wider range of structures with more reliable control.

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