Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, children are sent to schools when they are only four or five years old, some people are happy with this, while others often argue that childhood is being cut short. I agree with this view to a large extent, but I do think that learning is essential for childrens.

First of all, childrens at young age could learn things quiet fast, their brain absorb languages and sound very rapidly, so a child who starts learning english or arabic language early can speak it better than someone who starts at twelve, another important factor is that school shapes daily routine of childrens, such as waking up on time and following instructions, which makes their later years easier.

However, during this time something really important could suffer, which is: play, a student who finish his school at three and finish until ten have no time to play rest, or talk to their family. Children learns creativity by drawing, and running outside which makes them confident. A child who have to sit still for six hours in school may feel bored or tired, and a child who find lessons hard may consider that he is bad at studies, this feeling will stay with him for many years. And some childrens do not have energy which is needed to hold pen for writing yet.

In conclusion, formal lessons are important for childrens because it builds early learning habits, but too difficult task will harm their confidence, I believe that, a gentle play-based routine while studying is better choice than strict formal learning at early age.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that childhood can be cut short by formal schooling, while recognising that learning is important. You address both the value of learning and the importance of play, with relevant points such as language learning, routines, creativity and confidence. However, the discussion is uneven. The benefits of early learning are explained with examples, while the classroom-play question is addressed more generally; the point about children finishing school and having little time to play is not clearly connected to play within the classroom. Develop this part with a specific example of how play-based activities can support learning, and explain more directly how much formal learning you consider excessive. This would make the response more fully developed across both parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from the benefits of early learning to the possible costs of too much formal study is easy to follow, and signposts such as “First of all,” “However” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This coherent arrangement is a strength. Some connections are less smooth, though: the sentence beginning “during this time something really important could suffer” shifts abruptly to play, and the long sequence of examples in that paragraph would benefit from clearer grouping. There are also occasional punctuation and reference issues that interrupt flow. Use topic sentences that directly link each paragraph to the question, and connect examples with more precise referencing rather than relying mainly on basic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “daily routine,” “following instructions,” “creativity” and “confidence.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, for example “childhood is being cut short” and “play-based routine.” However, word choice and collocation are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision: “learn things quiet fast” and “hold pen for writing” do not sound natural, while “childrens” is repeatedly used instead of the correct plural form. Some expressions, such as “finish his school at three and finish until ten,” are difficult to interpret. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for classroom learning and play, and check spelling and word forms carefully so your meaning is consistently clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “which” and conditional structures such as “A child who starts learning … early can speak it better.” This gives the response some variety, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries occur in several places. For example, “their brain absorb” needs subject–verb agreement, “a student who finish” needs a matching verb form, and “Children learns” has an agreement error. The opening sentence also joins separate ideas with a comma, and “I believe that, a gentle…” has incorrect punctuation. Review agreement and singular/plural forms, then proofread sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence structures easier to read.

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