Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays life many individual think that primary education focuses more on the student academics rather than playing sports, while other says that it is beneficial. In opinion, I think that taking action on sports along with studies in students early age can improve their physical health, but focusing more on studies can aslo be beneficial.

Firstly, schools who provide student with a sport can get more attentive and fresh students in their classrooms. For example, giving a sports can be benefical for student, in todays live every kid get attached to the social media and they play less outside. Secondly, sports can improve students physical health which is very effective for their future. For instance, student who start playing sports from their childhood can become physically strong and it also increase their chances to get select in the state level sports as well as in national level.

On the other hand, children who focuses more on their studies would able to secure their future in a very affective way, because it can improve their knowlede and skills which can help them in their future by getting more job oppotunies and other benfits such as urge to gain more knowledge. Student who got their base strong in education from childhood can perfom well in their higher education studies.

In conclusion, sports can bring many benefits for students health which is very helpful for their young versions, but focusing more on the studies can bright their future by getting more job vacancies and knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by discussing the benefits of sport and of academic study, and your conclusion restates this contrast. However, the position is not fully clear: the introduction says that both approaches can be beneficial, but it does not directly state whether you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. The discussion also gives more attention to the benefits of sport than to how play should be balanced with classroom learning. Examples such as children becoming more attentive and improving their health are relevant, but they are asserted rather than explained in depth. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement clearly and develop each main point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for sport and academic study, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “Firstly” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the two sides. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the point about social media is introduced but not fully connected to why classroom play is important. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the main ideas rather than drawing them together into a clear answer to the question. Improve cohesion by making each paragraph’s central point explicit, linking examples directly to that point, and using references such as “this activity” or “these benefits” clearly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of relevant vocabulary, including “physical health,” “knowledge and skills,” and “higher education,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For example, “giving a sports” is not a natural way to describe providing opportunities for sport, and “young versions” does not convey the intended meaning. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “benefical,” “knowlede,” and “oppotunies.” Build a more precise range around education and play, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause with “because” and a relative clause beginning “who,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur in examples such as “other says,” “children who focuses,” and “it also increase.” There are also missing or incorrect grammatical elements in phrases such as “would able to secure” and “student with a sport.” These problems recur and can make the reader pause, although the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete verb phrases, then use a mix of shorter accurate sentences and longer sentences with one clearly controlled subordinate clause.

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