Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some of the people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning rather then focusing on the development and the character building of the children which is the most crucial duty of a primary school. It is also said the age when kids are forced to study subjects like math and science is the actual age of character building and mental growth of the child. At primary level kids should not be forced to study these subjects because their mind is not fully developed to undewrstand these things and it also effects the learning capabilities of the childern. To an extent

I also agree with this opinion that primary schools shouldn't focus only on formal learning they should also teach children coutesy , respect and morals of life.

It is very important for children to paly as well as to learn in class. It is because of the fact that children loses focus to learn when they are forced to study for many hours straight. Playing in class makes them freash and energetic which improves the learning skills of the children and it also helps them to cooperate with other children. There should also be sometime for the children to take rest in class and then continue their remaining work.

I've amny students who are very brilliant but they can't do well in studies is because they lose focus from their studies as they lack physical activity in their life and also there are some students who are not very intelligent but the do very well in studies as they possess intense focus due to thier habit of playing pysical games like football and cricket.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that children should learn 'courtesy' and 'morals', these points are not fully extended with specific examples or deeper analysis. The argument regarding the importance of play is supported by personal observation, which is relevant, but the explanation remains somewhat repetitive. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main point is supported by a clear, logical explanation or a more detailed example to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and sometimes repetitive. For instance, you rely heavily on 'and' and 'it is because of the fact that' to connect ideas. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words or transition phrases that would help the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the transition between the personal observation and the general argument could be smoother. Improving the variety of cohesive devices would significantly enhance the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'formal learning', 'character building', and 'physical activity'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'then' instead of 'than', 'undewrstand', 'effect' instead of 'affect', 'coutesy', 'paly', 'freash', 'amny', 'thier', 'pysical') that occur throughout the text. These errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and try to incorporate a wider range of less common vocabulary to demonstrate more precision and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('children loses focus', 'the do very well') and incorrect word forms ('it also effects the learning capabilities'). Punctuation is also a concern, particularly with run-on sentences and missing commas, which makes some parts of the text harder to read. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.