Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people assert that primary school gives first priority to formal learning . Because they handles student to their learning strategy . How much they learn and how much they have capacity of learning .
On first hand primary school is important to the students because they are not under the pressure of strict education . They enjoy their learning time and enjoy their other activity . The time of school is less than secondary school . It is approximately 3 4 hours . These school have a care taker for student . They focus on all students and treat them equally to all student . For example in every cities many primary school are establish such as Rohtak , Sonipat , Karnal etc, where primary student can easily take admission .
On other hand secondary school are established in all cities but the education is highly for all types of student . They are under the pressure of teacher , they give first priority to education , they not overcome their other activities . They put many pressure on their shoulder . These school focuses on their study . There are many competition under the school . They teach all students in same way for example a brilliant student can understand in high technology but normal student need more focus on their student, this is the reason why normal student leave backly.
I think that primary school is the best school which student can focus on formal learning because they can learn in easy method and overcome their goals . They should take great care of.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. While you mention that primary schools focus on formal learning, the argument is not fully developed. The comparison between primary and secondary schools is somewhat tangential, as the prompt specifically asks about the balance of play and formal learning in primary schools. Your position is not clearly stated in the introduction, and the supporting ideas are often repetitive or lack specific evidence. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly answers a part of the question and provides clear, logical reasoning rather than general statements about school systems.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions between ideas are often missing or mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'On first hand' and 'On other hand'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. For example, the transition between the discussion of primary school and the shift to secondary school lacks a clear connection to the prompt. Improving the use of cohesive devices and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'school', 'learning', and 'study' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'leave backly' and 'highly for all types of student', which impede clarity. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and collocations related to education. You currently struggle to express complex ideas due to a restricted range of vocabulary, which occasionally makes the meaning ambiguous.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Because they handles student'), sentence fragments, and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'many primary school are establish'). The range of sentence structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some errors in complex constructions. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and plural forms, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
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