Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 8.5)
Primary education plays a vital role in shaping children's future. While some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal academic learning, others think this approach is necessary. I largely agree that many schools focus excessively on academic subjects, and I believe that play is equally important because it contributes to children's overall development.
On the one hand, many primary schools give greater importance to academic achievement than to children's personal growth. Pupils are often required to complete a large amount of homework, prepare for examinations, and spend long hours studying subjects such as mathematics, science, and languages. As a result, they may experience stress and lose interest in learning. Moreover, excessive academic pressure leaves little time for creative activities such as art, music, and sports, which are essential for developing imagination and confidence.
On the other hand, play is a crucial part of a child's education and should be integrated into the primary school curriculum. Through games and group activities, children develop communication, teamwork, and problem-solving skills. Play also improves physical fitness and supports emotional well-being by reducing stress. Furthermore, learning through enjoyable activities helps children understand concepts more effectively and increases their motivation to participate in classroom lessons. For example, educational games can make mathematics and language learning more engaging and easier to understand.
In conclusion, although formal education is necessary for building strong academic foundations, I believe that many primary schools place too much emphasis on it. A balanced approach that combines academic learning with regular opportunities for play is the most effective way to support children's intellectual, physical, and social development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 8.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 8.5 |
| Overall | 8.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5
The response fully addresses both parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The arguments regarding the negative impact of excessive academic pressure and the benefits of play are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of creative activities and the role of games in learning. The ideas are logically extended, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes your main points. The response is balanced and directly answers the 'to what extent' and 'how important' components of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the two main body paragraphs is smooth, using appropriate cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. Referencing is clear, and the use of linking words like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' helps guide the reader through your argument. The paragraphing is logical and contributes to the overall clarity of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases such as 'excessive academic pressure', 'overall development', and 'academic foundations' are used accurately. While the vocabulary is appropriate and natural, it could be further elevated to reach a higher band by incorporating more sophisticated collocations or less common academic terminology. However, there are no significant errors in word choice or spelling, and the language used is consistently clear and effective for the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.5
The response displays a good variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of conditional and concessive clauses (e.g., 'Although formal education is necessary...'). The grammar is highly accurate, with the majority of sentences being error-free. Punctuation is used correctly throughout, and there is a good control of verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. The writing is fluent, and the few minor slips do not impede communication or detract from the overall quality of the expression.
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