Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent decades, Education has become widely discussed topic. Some people believe that primary schools are just focusd on formal learning . But I disagree with this statement because School should provide a limited freedom to students to relax their mind.

The primary reason for the disagreement is that Education system is playing a vital role in the future of country. If we force our children to just studing all time, then they lose their mental health ,also affected on their physical health. For instance, If some student are studing all the day, then may be he will lose their freedom of thinking. Additionally, Sports activities assits children to improve their physical health as well as help them to relax their mind.

Secondry reason is that, Our education system are fully rely on cramming. Due to this factor, alot of students are facing alot of dificulties. For example, Every student has own skills and own style of understanding the things, we dont force our studnents to do crammer, therefore, school will also assit the students on chosing the subjects. Formal learning is beneficial but extra carricular activities help students to to fresh their mind and increase their creativity level.

In Contrast, formal learning is also have some benefits but we dont force our children to do only formal learning. This will lead to pressure on children. School should try to make education easy for childrens , that everyone would like to study with their own interest. This will increase the ratio of successfull students. Then these students will become the future of country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide reasons such as mental health and the need for creativity, the arguments are repetitive and lack specific, well-developed examples. The position is clear, but the explanation remains at a general level. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, fully supported point rather than restating the same concept of 'relaxing the mind' multiple times. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'In Contrast' is used incorrectly at the start of the final paragraph, as the content does not present a strong contrast to the previous point. Additionally, some transitions are missing or awkward, such as 'Secondry reason is that'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by repetitive phrasing, which makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will significantly enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There is frequent repetition of basic words like 'study', 'children', and 'formal learning'. Some word choices are imprecise, such as 'do crammer' or 'to fresh their mind'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'focusd', 'assits', 'dificulties', and 'studnents'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and ensure your spelling is accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences often contain grammatical errors. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'Education system is playing' (should be 'The education system'), 'Our education system are fully rely', and 'formal learning is also have'. Articles are frequently missing or misused (e.g., 'in future of country'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation impede the fluency of the writing. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic agreement errors is essential.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.