Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 8.5)
Primary education plays a vital role in shaping a child's future. While academic learning is essential, some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal education and neglect the importance of play. I largely agree with this opinion because young children learn most effectively when education is combined with enjoyable activities.
On the one hand, formal learning provides children with fundamental knowledge and skills. Subjects such as mathematics, science, and languages help students develop logical thinking, communication skills, and problem-solving abilities. A well-structured curriculum also prepares children for higher levels of education. Therefore, schools should ensure that pupils build a strong academic foundation during their early years.
However, focusing exclusively on academic achievement may place unnecessary pressure on young learners. Children have shorter attention spans than adults and often learn more effectively through creative and interactive activities. Educational games, group projects, and role-playing not only make lessons more enjoyable but also encourage teamwork, creativity, and self-confidence. For example, children who participate in classroom games often improve their communication and social skills while remaining actively engaged in learning.
In my opinion, play is just as important as formal education in primary schools. Through play, children develop emotional intelligence, imagination, and the ability to solve problems independently. Outdoor activities and classroom games also improve physical health and reduce stress, allowing children to return to academic tasks with greater concentration. Consequently, a balanced approach that combines structured lessons with play-based learning is likely to produce better educational outcomes.
In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary for academic development, primary schools should not overlook the value of play. A healthy balance between learning and enjoyable activities helps children develop intellectually, socially, and emotionally, preparing them for future success.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 8.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 8.5 |
| Overall | 8.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5
You have fully addressed all parts of the prompt. You clearly stated your position in the introduction and maintained it throughout the essay. Both aspects of the task—the extent of your agreement and the importance of play—are well-developed with relevant supporting arguments. For instance, you effectively contrast the necessity of formal academic foundations with the developmental benefits of play, such as emotional intelligence and social skills. The ideas are extended logically, and the conclusion provides a clear summary that reinforces your initial stance. The response is well-balanced and directly answers the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the benefits of formal learning and the necessity of play is smooth. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'On the one hand,' 'However,' and 'Consequently,' which help guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. The flow is natural, and the relationship between ideas is consistently clear throughout the text, meeting the requirements for a high band score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases such as 'well-structured curriculum,' 'academic foundation,' and 'emotional intelligence' show a good command of topic-specific language. While the vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for the context, it is generally standard rather than highly sophisticated or idiomatic. To reach a higher band, you could incorporate more nuanced collocations or less common lexical items. However, the current range is flexible enough to convey your ideas clearly and effectively without any noticeable errors in word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.5
Your writing displays a good variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of 'While' clauses and conditional-like reasoning ('if... then' implied through 'when' and 'because'). The grammar is highly accurate, with almost no errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, or punctuation. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and the control over complex structures is consistent. The clarity of your expression is maintained throughout, and the punctuation is used correctly to support the logical flow of your arguments. This represents a very high level of grammatical control.
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