Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. It contains several benefits of structured education and access to the resources and student can become a responsible person in the future and it plays crucial for student to play as well as learn with focus during the classroom.

The major reason is structured education. Focus learning contains fixed syllabus in every school and teacher only needs to focus on that syllabus. Additionally, it has positive effect on children due to limited amount of syllabus, and they can enjoy and take part in another co-curricular activities and that helps them in their overall development. For instance, there was an article in The Hindustan Times about how syllabus plays significant role in students' life and due to limited chapters, they are focusing on other sports and appearing on various types of sports and winning medals for their country.

Furthermore, there is another advantage of resources. When the syllabus is fixed for all grades, learners get wide range of books and material for their study for those students who cannot understand in school or teacher's language might get tough for them so they can purchase those books and find relevant answers in it. As a result, students are scoring good in their academics.

In conclusion, although limited practical experience and lack of individual attention is affecting individual's mind. But structured education and wide range of books are playing excellent role in their life and students are becoming more successful in their future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is inconsistent. While you acknowledge the importance of play, the argument leans heavily toward the benefits of structured learning, leaving the 'extent' of your agreement somewhat unclear. The ideas are relevant, but the explanation of how play specifically integrates into the classroom is under-developed. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly answers a specific part of the prompt and provides more nuanced reasoning rather than just listing benefits of a fixed syllabus. Your position needs to be more explicitly stated in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'It contains several benefits' at the start of the first paragraph lacks a clear referent, and the transition 'Furthermore, there is another advantage of resources' is somewhat abrupt. The logical progression between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, making the flow feel disjointed at times. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence clearly connects to the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'structured education' and 'syllabus'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'appearing on various types of sports' (should be 'participating in') and 'scoring good' (should be 'achieving good grades'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or less common vocabulary limits the score. Try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and synonyms to demonstrate a broader range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'teacher only needs'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'it plays crucial for student to play'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in the conclusion where a sentence fragment is used ('But structured education...'). While the errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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