Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Primary school learning is very important for the growth of children and a school should focus on it, but playing is also a necessary factor in growth of a child.

If the school only focuses on playing rather than normal learning then it will be difficult for a child to learn language and other skills. Furthermore, if a school only focuses on learning then the children will lose focus and will get bored after a few lecturers. Both formal learning and playing are important at their specified time.

For instance, one of my younger cousin always complained that the school teaches too much and their is no free time to play. After a few weeks of going to school, he became bored, irritated and his attention was also diverted. He got bad grades as he didn`t wanted to study and spent most of his playing at home. My uncle changed his school where they had a specific time slot for playing. He studied hard and his grades started to improve. And his badminton skills also improved. In my opinion, if would have left in that same school from before, he would have lost his interest in study.

In my opinion if we want a child to succeed in his life, we need to make a balance time schedule that includes both playing and learning. Otherwise, the child will lose interest and consequently his whole life would be ruined.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the importance of both formal learning and play. However, the essay is under the 250-word minimum, which significantly limits the depth of the arguments. The ideas are somewhat simplistic and rely heavily on a single personal anecdote rather than broader analysis. To reach a higher band, you need to expand on the educational benefits of play (e.g., social development, creativity) and the limitations of purely formal learning. The position is clear, but the development of ideas is insufficient to fully explore the 'extent' of your agreement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'For instance' to link sentences. However, the transitions between some ideas are a bit mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more sophisticated. The conclusion is brief and repeats the main point without adding much new insight. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use basic terms like 'bad grades' and 'good growth'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'lecturers' (which usually refers to university teachers, not primary school teachers) and 'balance time schedule'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development. Avoid repetitive phrasing and aim for more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'one of my younger cousin' (should be 'cousins'), 'their is no free time' (should be 'there is'), and 'if would have left' (should be 'if he had been left'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not completely impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and mastering conditional sentence structures, which are essential for expressing hypothetical situations in IELTS essays.

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