Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Few persons dispute that elementary schools mainly target too much on international education. I agree with this statement, because all the children's need quality and advanced education in the begining stage so, they will achieve their future goals. In my opinion, play is equally important because it supports children's overall development.

Formal education gives childrens essential knowledge and skills in subjects such as science, mathematics and languages. These subjects provide the foundation for the future academic success and helps syudent's development, discipline and problem-solving skills. However many primary school's mainly focus on examination, homeworks, projects, classroom interaction and leave some time for creative activities. As a result, children may experience stress and lose intrest in learning at the primary stage.

Play is just an important as formal education because it contributes children's plysical, social and emotional growth. Through games, sports, and group activities, childern's learn teamwork, problem-solving abilities, communication, leadership and conflict-resolution skills. Creative plays also encourage imagination and independent thinking, which are difficult to develop through textbooks alone. Furthermore, plysical activities improve children's health, they can improve concentration, strength and confident, making them more efffecient learners in the classroom.

In conclusion, although formal learning plays vital role in the primary education, i believe many schools focus on it too much. Children should be given sufficient oportunities to play games as well as learning in the primary school calssroom. Play helps to improve children's knowledge, focus on goals, concentration, whereas children also need physical activities such as outdoor games, yoga classes, they will improve their strength and confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as mentioning specific subjects like science and mathematics, and the benefits of play like teamwork and conflict resolution. However, the development of some points is slightly repetitive, particularly in the conclusion where you restate benefits already covered. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-developed idea rather than circling back to previous points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your argument. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing; for example, in the second paragraph, 'These subjects' refers back to the list of subjects, which is good, but some sentences within the paragraphs could be linked more fluidly to improve the overall flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'academic success', 'conflict-resolution', and 'independent thinking'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'syudent's', 'intrest', 'plysical', 'childern's', 'oportunities', and 'efffecient'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the professional tone of the essay. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, the frequency of these slips prevents a higher score. Focus on proofreading your work to catch these basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Although formal learning plays a vital role... I believe...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with pluralization and article usage, such as 'all the children's need' instead of 'all children need' and 'many primary school's' instead of 'many primary schools'. Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent at times. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall accuracy of the writing. Increasing your control over basic grammar will significantly improve your score.

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