Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this contemporary era, a vast majority of individuals consider that it is good that primary schools focus too much on academic learning rather than other activities. On the other hand, few masses believe that overall development of the learners is very important by taking participate in extra Co-curriculum activities along with education. I strongly agree with later notion. In the upcoming paragraphs several reasons will be highlighted according to this statement.

To commence with, there are abundant of reasons why scholars give equally preference to extra-curriculum activities with study. The first and foremost Explore new education skills. To explain it, when students take part in physical activities games such as football, cricket, hockey, Volleyball and many more with this scholars learn new skills like as leadership skills, time management , decision making communication skills which is fruitful for them in their career field. Moreover, students will be a become physically and mentally strong through enrolling themselves in other activities. As a results, Students become allrounder by this education system. For example, a survey was conducted by World Education Organisation on a group 200 students ranging age group 17 to 20 found 80% learners are suffered from mental health problems such as depression , anxiety , loneliness only due to extremely concentrate on study

Furthermore, other notably factor which can not be ignored The Primarily reason, Students

effortlessly reduce their stress level regarding academic study. To elaborate it, when learners feel excess burdened relate to their study through playing activities they can calm down themselves. Additionally students get break from study in that time they focus on their hobbies in which there have a keen interest and choose that professional in their career Hence, Students get clearly platform in which there have a passionate and rise their living standard . For instance,An Article published by 'The Hindustan Times' revealed majority of younger generations choose their career platform according hobbies in which they had have interested.

To sum up, There is no doubt that quality education plays part and parcel role in each and every students life . However no only excess to formal learning not beneficial for students by taking part in physical activities enhance overall personality of learners and overcome their stress level regarding study , build new skills in which they there are interested

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the development of soft skills and stress reduction. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat inconsistent; for instance, the example regarding the World Education Organisation is slightly confusing in its phrasing and relevance to primary school children (citing ages 17-20). To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more directly aligned with the primary school context and that your arguments are fully extended without relying on repetitive phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'The Primarily reason' or 'no only excess to formal learning'. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences are fragmented, which disrupts the flow of the argument. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting to use topic-specific terms like 'extra-curriculum activities', 'academic learning', and 'allrounder'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'few masses', 'give equally preference', and 'clearly platform'. Some of these errors occasionally make the meaning slightly opaque, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form (e.g., 'academic' vs 'academically').

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('learners is very important'), article usage, and sentence fragments ('The first and foremost Explore new education skills'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and capitalization. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. You should focus on proofreading for basic sentence construction and ensuring that your complex sentences are grammatically sound.

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