Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era some believes that lower standard in schools should focus on formal language.While it is very crucial to children

to play games subsequently while they are learning in primary schools.

I will completely agree with this statement,this essay will discuss the key reasons and relevant examples to support my opinion.

Firstly,It is very important to teach the formal language in the early stage of academic this will be rewarding in communication with others in formal ways,this methods will definitely makes the students to move forward and develop the confidence in social activities by using wide vocabulary words and make them to understand the topics in subject syllabus very deeply.This kind of language will nourish their brains and gives best results in the future endeavours.

On the other it is mandatory to schedule a Physical classes in their daily class time table.This reason behind this because it is the growing proportion of their body physical and mental health stays fit and sharp.Involving in various sports or games make the children to be active in the classrooms and helps in scoring the good grades in academics.This will encourage to participate in each every event makes them feel happy by winning in various competitions.Although in exams.

Take an example -In Japan the government as passed a act that children's under age ten need to be participated in studies actively and circular activities top.These fun makes the cognitive development very strong.Also helps in how to face the defeat in lives .To make them strong .

In conclusion,I will conclude that it is very important to use formal language in lower classes and also physical classes need to provided to kids as well.For their wellbeing

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention the benefits of formal language and physical activity, the arguments lack depth and specific elaboration. The example regarding Japan is relevant but is presented in a fragmented way, which limits the overall impact of your argument. To improve, ensure that each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported point that directly links back to the prompt's core question. Your position is clear, but the supporting evidence needs to be more thoroughly explained to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'On the other it is mandatory'. There are also issues with punctuation, specifically the lack of spaces after commas and periods, which disrupts the flow of the text. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that your punctuation is standard to help the reader navigate your ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'lower standard in schools' (likely meaning 'primary schools') and 'formal language' are used repeatedly. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'Physical classes' instead of 'physical education' or 'extracurricular activities'. You attempt to use some academic vocabulary, but the word choice is occasionally imprecise, which limits your ability to convey complex ideas effectively. To improve, try to use more specific terminology related to education and child development, and focus on using words in their correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some believes'), incorrect article usage, and sentence fragments. Punctuation is a significant issue throughout the text, with missing spaces after punctuation marks and incorrect comma usage. While you attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty, which reduces the clarity of your writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and standard punctuation rules before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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