Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some individuals believe that the main focus of the elementary schools on academic learning rather than to make it friendly for students at the initial level. In my opinion, it is better to provide the kids an educational friendly environment.

To begin with, mostly persons believe schools must be focused on the basic grooming of children. They should help them to be habitual and create their interest and it is only possible when kids have the classroom with many other activities within learning. For instance, a child is first time going to school and expected to be an enjoyable place he thinks he will make friends, play with toys and also enjoy the cartoons along with study. Moreover, these activities proved helpful in improving their learning skills, visual sense and also memorizing abilities by recalling all of that by come back as well as it create fond of go to school daily. Therefore, by applying these policies academic hours will become more interesting for students and teachers beyond the hectic routine.

On the other hand, those schools which are only preferred the formal education besides interesting and entertaining hours. It might be tired and stressful for the new admission child at the initial grade because it is the growing age they need more care love and support to become bright students.

From my perspective, it is the need for making the elementary stage more playful and enjoyable for students. So, they can groom well and their learning powers are enhanced by admitting into schools.

In conclusion, at the primary level schools must focused on additional activities within the study hours which is significantly important for the grooming of children however, formal education is quite important but not at primary school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that play improves learning skills and memorization, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as you state formal education is 'not at primary school,' which is a strong claim that lacks sufficient nuance or support in the body paragraphs. Overall, the response covers the requirements but lacks the depth of argument expected for higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'by come back as well as it create fond of go to school daily.' Referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences lack smooth transitions, making the flow feel a bit disjointed in places. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your opinions clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'academic learning,' 'grooming,' and 'hectic routine.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'mostly persons believe,' 'educational friendly environment,' and 'it create fond of go to school.' These errors occasionally impede the natural flow of the text. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schools which are only preferred'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'the main focus of the elementary schools on academic learning rather than to make it friendly'). While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for verb forms would help improve your accuracy.

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