Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
For me while i read in other countries news for their schools this is positive to focus on too much formal learning while they are young because the students holding their own future not depending in government in the future. Also the children playing is also very important because for their future also ill give you an example. 5 days a week during class, 3 days focus on academic then the 2 days will also focus on playing sports to see who is also a top tier player there are many different children while others is focusing on formal learning or academic while the others is they have a talent in other field i include that field maybe sports or e-sports because this generation is much talented or higher iq than us before. Im not arguing for nothing lets help this generation to achieve their goals in life. Not to brag but to support. If im the president of this country ill announce that the 5 days full academic class will down to 3 days while the other 2 days is focusing also in their path we will support this generation for the seek of the future. I agree focusing the student in formal learning for 3 days only but in the other 2 days is focusing for what their talent focusing for their happiness and joy. Lets some agree in others people opinion for the better future of our primary schools students. Lets serve and show respect this younger generation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is limited. The ideas are presented in a somewhat informal, conversational tone rather than an academic one. The argument for a 3-day academic schedule is a relevant suggestion, but it lacks depth and supporting evidence beyond a personal hypothetical scenario. The position is clear, but the overall response feels more like a personal opinion piece than a structured essay. To improve, you should expand on the benefits of play for cognitive development and provide more formal justification for your proposed school schedule.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay lacks formal paragraphing, which is a significant requirement for IELTS Task 2. The entire response is written as a single block of text, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Also' and 'If im the president', but they are often repetitive or used in a mechanical way. The transition between the argument for formal learning and the importance of play is abrupt. To improve, you must organize your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs for each part of the prompt, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'For me', 'I agree', and 'Lets' are used frequently, which limits the range of expression. There are some attempts at more specific vocabulary, such as 'top tier player' and 'e-sports', but these are not integrated into a sophisticated academic context. Word choice is often imprecise, such as 'the students holding their own future' instead of 'students are responsible for their own future'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more academic collocations and varied vocabulary to express complex ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'others is focusing'), missing articles, and incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'the 5 days full academic class will down to 3 days'). Punctuation is also problematic, with many run-on sentences and a lack of proper capitalization. While there is an attempt at complex structures, such as conditional sentences ('If im the president...'), the execution is flawed. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for common errors would significantly improve your score.
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