Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Primary school is the crucial first step of a child's education journey. It's the building block where a student starts learning the basic fundamentals of academics. All primary schools are supposed to be an intriguing place for a kid to learn and grow. Schools doesn't only help with the academics, it also plays a big role in brain development, morale building, and mental well-being of a student. Primary schools are supposed to make sure the child is equipped with all these basic fundamentals of education to produce the world's best professional.

In the matter of fact, some people believes primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I fully acknowledge this perspective. Most of the primary schools only focus on structured learning and a fixed curriculum in an entire academic session. The students are forced to memorize the syllabus only instead of learning the actual concepts. Such practice badly affects the brain development of a child. The students gradually stop thinking out of the box and only memorize the content written on their syllabus for the sake of good grades. This practice can be widely observed in the majority of primary schools in the South Asia. There's a huge force behind rote learning. Unfortunately, the teachers are equally responsible in this practice for encouraging parroting and rote learning culture among the students because of the outdated syllabus and their bias grading critera.

I believe it's the high time primary schools should change their learning patterns. They should focus on building concepts and enourage the students to question the topics being taught to them. The syllabus length should also be shortened and specific playtime schedule should be introduced. Primary schools should start arranging fun activities for the students to engage them well while studying. Playtime will relax the kids, boost their mood, and provide them a comfort zone which indirectly affects their ability to learn and perceive new concepts.

In conclusion, it's undoubtedly true that primary schools are highly inclined towards formal learning pattern which should be completely updated by now. Also, playtime should make mandatory for the students so that they can engage well in classroom conversations and build their personality alongside the academics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: the extent to which you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play. Your position is clear throughout the essay. You provide relevant arguments, such as the negative impact of rote learning and the benefits of play for mental well-being. To reach a higher band, ensure your examples are more specific; for instance, instead of mentioning 'South Asia' generally, you could describe a specific type of classroom activity or a common pedagogical practice you have observed. The ideas are well-developed, though some points could be extended further with more concrete evidence or real-world examples to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, such as the critique of rote learning and the proposed solutions. You use cohesive devices like 'In the matter of fact' (though this is slightly unnatural) and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions between sentences feel a bit mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure supports the development of your argument effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fundamentals', 'structured learning', and 'pedagogical' (implied). There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'In the matter of fact' (should be 'As a matter of fact') and 'bias grading critera' (should be 'biased grading criteria'). You also use 'parroting' effectively to describe rote learning. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and less common lexical items. Ensure you proofread for small spelling errors like 'critera' to maintain a professional tone throughout your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully convey your meaning, there are several recurring grammatical errors. For example, subject-verb agreement issues appear, such as 'Schools doesn't only help' (should be 'do not') and 'some people believes' (should be 'believe'). Additionally, there are minor errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in the South Asia' (should be 'in South Asia') and 'it's the high time' (should be 'it is high time'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve accuracy.

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