Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Many people hold the view that primary schools place too much significance on formal education. I agree with this statement as I believe that at a young age playing is as important as textbooks for learning.

Schools that focus too much on formal learning can put extra stress and pressure on children to excel academically. This often stems from the belief that students need to be taught academic discipline from a very young age and that this can only be achieved if schools enforce strict formal learning curriculums. For example, primary schools in china integrate basic mathematics concepts into the syllabus and completely ignore the importance of playtime. This has lead to extreme academic pressure on toddlers.

It is extremely crucial for youngsters to engage in playful activities in classroom. I hold the view that learning and playing are not exclusive, children can learn many things while playing. Activities such as solving puzzles or making structures from blocks enhances cognitive learning ability of children. For example, multiple studies conducted all around the world show that primary school students who engage in classroom activities have enhanced problem-solving skills and long attention span. believe that there should be a balance between formal education and extra-curriculars. Children need a playful environment in order to learn, strictly forcing students to learn through textbooks can slow down their learning pace.

Additionally, playing and gaining formal education do not have to be separated. Teachers should create engaging playful activities that actually make learning fun. This can transform a strict learning environment into a comfortable and engaging one. Ultimately, playing in classrooms can be a huge factor in a child's academic performance. I also believe that playing and learning in classroom is equally important because it can also shift children's views towards schools. Most primary schoolers view school learning as a "punishment". However, if schools place equal significance on playtime, then children will be more excited to go to school. For example, primarily schools in Pakistan primarily focus on studies whereas schools in Finland recognise the importance of play in classrooms. This is why Pakistani children exhibit signs of academic stress from a young age while students in Finland report lower academic anxiety.

Conclusively, I agree that primary schools focus on formal learning more than necessary. I believe this is because people think that rigorous academic learning from a young age can make children disciplined. However, playful behaviour should be encouraged in classroom as much as formal learning; this is because playtime can have positive effects on students' critical thinking abilities and this way school can be something they look forward to.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. The ideas regarding the negative impact of excessive formal learning and the benefits of play are well-developed with relevant examples, such as the comparison between educational systems in Finland and Pakistan. The arguments are logical and directly answer both questions posed in the prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure that all examples are fully integrated; for instance, the mention of 'toddlers' in the context of primary school is slightly inaccurate, as primary school children are typically older. Overall, the response is well-focused and provides a clear, consistent argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the critique of formal learning and the benefits of play is smooth. You make good use of cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'However', and 'Conclusively'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. While the flow is generally good, some transitions could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. Referencing is generally clear, though ensure that pronouns consistently refer back to the intended nouns to maintain maximum clarity throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'academic discipline', 'cognitive learning ability', and 'academic anxiety' show a good command of topic-specific language. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'primarily schools' (should be 'primary schools') and 'this has lead' (should be 'this has led'). While you successfully use some less common items, there is room to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or idiomatic expressions to elevate the tone further. The vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication of your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There is a good attempt at using complex sentences to express cause and effect, such as 'if schools place equal significance on playtime, then children will be more excited to go to school.' However, there are occasional grammatical slips, such as 'believe that there should be' (missing subject 'I') and 'exhibit signs of academic stress' (which is correct, but the sentence structure could be more varied). Punctuation is generally accurate, and errors do not impede the reader's understanding of your arguments.

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