Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

With revolution of science and other bold aspects of human life, Education became a primary part for a sustainable life. With evolution in knowledge modern schools are operating entirely different from old schooling system

as so in method of schooling as well. Although there is a prominent question do schools are more working on formal studies or may they keep balance between formal as well as informal.

we are going to explore about this debate in following lines.

A school plays fundamental role in a society to pursue knowledge and education. Any person who makes any bold step throughout the whole history of mankind must be gone through an basic process to get enough education witch is renowned at that time this basic step is called schooling and the place where this action takes place called school.

Ancient school systems are working entirely from a modern school system they are not mean to work on specific criteria of life as advance schools do. There main focus was to build a man who can met the most vulnerable and famous aspects for a successful life at that time. To get there goal there main focus was both on formal and informal education. Formal education makes a students mind sharp enough to see the reality of life. while on the other hand informal study helps an student to maintain his/her fitness and make them strong enough so they can play a significant role in any upcoming battle.

Modern school should adopt this method to maintain a balance in both aspects of education. For instance we just keep our focusses on formal studies it will create a mechanical personality rather then a standard person. On other hand if we keep our main focus on informal study and totally neglect formal one the upcoming results goes bad too.

Therefore as of my suggestion modern schools should maintain a balance between these integral parts of education to get a both healthy and successful personality to serve our world

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you argue for a balance, the explanation of 'informal study' is vague, and the examples provided (such as 'upcoming battle') are not clearly linked to the primary school context. To improve, you should provide more concrete, relevant examples of how play benefits primary-aged children, such as developing social skills or creativity, rather than focusing on abstract concepts like 'mechanical personality'. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and specific evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the flow between sentences is often disjointed due to awkward phrasing and a lack of varied cohesive devices. For example, the transition 'as so in method of schooling' is unclear. While you use some linking words like 'Although', 'For instance', and 'Therefore', the logical progression is sometimes hindered by grammatical errors that make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Improving the use of referencing and transition signals would help create a smoother, more professional argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate to convey the basic meaning, but it is often imprecise or used incorrectly. Phrases like 'bold aspects of human life' and 'mechanical personality' are somewhat unnatural in this context. There are also frequent issues with word choice, such as 'witch' instead of 'which' and 'there' instead of 'their'. You rely on a limited range of vocabulary, and some attempts at more academic language result in errors that slightly impede the reader's understanding. Expanding your range to include more precise academic collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Education became', 'schools are working'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'an basic process'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage, which makes some sentences run on or feel fragmented. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would be highly beneficial.

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