Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, many primary schools focus manily on classrom learning and are not giving importance to outdoor activities, this is a major problem in my opinion. Kids should be allowed to play in playgrounds regularly and schools should encourage children to participate in extracurricular activities. In this essay I will discuss reason behind my opinion and explan it with examples.

Generally, primary schools should be a balance between activities and formal learning, so children don't become bored of school. Furthermore, we should encourage kids to play in different sports and motivate them to join different types of activities like singing, dancing, acting, cooking, and etc. This will greatly help in developing kids intersts and hobbies. Because many successfull people in different careers start their interest in them at an early age.

Conversely, if schools only focus on formal learning and neglet other activities, then many kids will not develop their interests in their childhoods and this will become a major issue. This is because not all students are interested in studys, some are more inclined to do sports, bussiness, and other careers. Therefore, it is very important that we make sure schools dont foucs exclusively on studys and equally give importance to extracurricular activities.

In conclusion, as much as education is important for the children, sports and other activities are equally important to the kids to make them successful in their life. Thus, we should make sure all schools should follow this and not encourage others who only focus on only formal learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that play helps develop interests and hobbies, the arguments remain quite general. To achieve a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how play contributes to cognitive or social development in primary school children. The essay covers all requirements, but the depth of support for your arguments is basic, which is characteristic of a Band 6.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Conversely', and 'In conclusion', which help the flow. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly. Overall, the information is easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks variety and sophistication. You rely on common words like 'important', 'activities', and 'learning'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'manily' (mainly), 'classrom' (classroom), 'intersts' (interests), 'successfull' (successful), 'neglet' (neglect), 'studys' (studies), and 'bussiness' (business). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable, though they do not impede communication. To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling of common terms. The range is sufficient to express your ideas, but it is limited in terms of flexibility and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and pluralization (e.g., 'schools should follow this and not encourage others who only focus on only formal learning'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and comma splices, such as in the first paragraph. The errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, but they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Increasing the accuracy of your sentence construction will help you move into a higher band.

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