Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, many primary schools focus mainly on classroom learning and are not giving importance to outdoor activities, this is a major problem in my opinion. Kids should be allowed to play in playgrounds regularly and schools should encourage children to participate in extracurricular activities. In this essay I will discuss reason behind my opinion and explan it with examples.

Generally, primary schools should be a balance between activities and formal learning, so children don't become bored of school. Furthermore, we should encourage kids to play in different sports and motivate them to join different types of activities like singing, dancing, acting, cooking, and etc. This will greatly help in developing kids interests and hobbies. Because many successful people in different careers find their passion at an early age.

Conversely, if schools only focus on formal learning and neglet other activities, then many kids will not develop their interests in their childhoods and this will become a major issue. This is because not all students are interested in academics, some are more inclined to do sports, business, and other careers. Therefore, it is very important that we make sure schools don't foucs exclusively on studys and equally give importance to extracurricular activities.

In conclusion, as much as education is important for the children, sports and other activities are equally important to the kids to make them successful in their life. Thus, we should make sure all schools should follow this and not encourage others who only focus on only formal learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that play helps develop interests, the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples or deeper analysis of how play contributes to cognitive or social development. The essay meets the requirements, but to reach a higher band, you should expand on your reasoning with more detailed illustrations rather than relying on general statements about 'successful people'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different aspects of the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Conversely', and 'Therefore' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be more sophisticated. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the central topic of each paragraph is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'extracurricular activities', 'formal learning', and 'academics'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetitive phrasing, such as the frequent use of 'important' and 'activities'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'neglet' (spelling) and 'studys' (pluralization). To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, including punctuation issues (e.g., comma splices in the first paragraph) and spelling mistakes like 'explan', 'neglet', and 'foucs'. Subject-verb agreement and pluralization are occasionally inconsistent. While you attempt complex sentences, they are not always error-free. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using more varied subordinating conjunctions or relative clauses.

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