Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the modern era, few people debates that the major focus of schools are on the extremely formal learning and children are not into playing.

According to my point of view, School holds the central position for the education of pupils so it can also motivates or involves students into gaming activities.

Educational institutes plays significant role in the cognitive development of child so they adopts various methods that bound students with their study material. So pupils don't have enough time to manage study and gaming simultaneously. Secondly, the perspective of schools are generally considered as a learning place regardless of involving students into extra-curricular activities. For Instance, The school in our neighborhood has well established computer and science labs and their academic progress is also up to the mark and same school lack playground, students only spend time in learning but don't play any form of games. Although this form of school produce educated robots but not normal human beings who can also physically active.

On the other hand, schools who also take parts in the physical activities, gaming and different supporting activities from the growing ages of learners, equally surfing time on extracurricular and curricular activities, provides exciting opportunities for kids to show their talents in the area of their lives. For example, Pakistani cricketer Hafeez is not only a great batsman but also a professor in a private sector university. Students those who are weak in academic sometimes earn gold medal for a country by utilizing sporting activities.

To sum up, school needs to adopt modern methods of learning rather than rely on conventional methods and encourages students to take parts in different games. This is necessary for pupils learn from games as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of the 'neighborhood school' is a bit anecdotal and could be more effectively linked to broader educational theory. While the argument is relevant, the explanation of why play is important for cognitive development could be more detailed to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main point, though it is quite brief.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the problem (over-formalization) to the solution (integrating play). However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'So pupils don't have enough time' or 'For Instance, The school'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the two main body paragraphs could be smoother. Despite these minor issues, the overall structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinions clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'cognitive development' and 'extracurricular', which are used correctly. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'surfing time' (likely meaning 'spending time') and 'produce educated robots'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument. A wider range of topic-specific vocabulary would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'few people debates', 'School holds... it can also motivates', 'institutes plays'). There are also issues with article usage and pluralization (e.g., 'development of child', 'the perspective of schools are'). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, although they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended message.

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