Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is often argue that primary schools focus more on academic studies and rely less on extra curricular activities. While some people support this, others oppose it. I am not fully agree with this. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will discuss this.

To commence with, nowadays primary schools already providing a balanced education. Besides academic studies, schools organize sports, music, art, dance, and cultural activities. such activities help students to engage themselves with other students and build their confidence to talk effortlessly and enhance creativity alongside academic knowledge in the very beginning of the life. For instance, many primary schools organize annual sports days, art competitions, and classroom group activities, allowing children to develop both academic and interpersonal skills. Therefore, it is incorrect to argue that primary schools focus excessively on formal learning.

In addition to this, play is extremely important for children's education. Every school nowadays, held annual functions where students participate in numerous activities like dance, bhangra, folk dance, plays. Apart from annual function, schools held debate competitions, feast where students enjoy several mouthwatering dishes and enjoy rides. Also engaged in several activities like Three-Legged Race, Lemon and Spoon, Sack race which help them stay physically fit while boosting their confidence, teamwork, and communication skills. For example, a child who participates in a three-legged race learns to coordinate with a partner, communicate effectively, and work as a team, which are valuable life skills beyond academic learning. Hence, it is evident that schools are focusing equally on children's education and well-being while indulged themselves in several activities.

In conclusion, I disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. In my opinion, modern schools maintain a balance between academic education and extracurricular activities, both of which are essential for children's overall development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, where the focus on school activities is mentioned multiple times without adding significant depth to the argument. To reach a higher band, you should focus on exploring the 'why' behind the importance of play—such as cognitive development or social-emotional learning—rather than simply listing examples of school events.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main points. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'To commence with,' 'In addition to this,' and 'In conclusion,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the sentence 'such activities help students,' where the capitalization and connection to the previous sentence could be smoother. Overall, the flow of ideas is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'interpersonal skills,' 'balanced education,' and 'extravagant' (though 'excessively' was the intended meaning). There are some word-choice errors, such as 'indulged themselves' instead of 'engaging in' and 'It is often argue' instead of 'It is often argued.' While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the errors occasionally distract from the message. Focusing on accurate collocations will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'I am not fully agree,' 'schools held debate competitions' instead of 'hold,' and 'in the very beginning of the life'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To improve, pay closer attention to tense consistency and basic sentence construction, as these errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band despite the attempt at complex structures.

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