Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the recent years, schools are the privilege of the neonates. A group of people believe that, primary schools are more attention on formal learning. While, others are counter claim that, not only learning is important, but also play is an essential part of the school. In my opinion, I agree with the larger extent, as according to me, sport play a crucial role in individuals life instead of full time formal learning.
The fundamental reason for my inclination is that, there are ample of benefits of having a sport activity with formal learning. First and foremost is that, physical sports provide one kind of refreshment activity to the children. Because pupils get frustrated when they are only engage with study. In addition to, some sports make children physically fit and few games such as chess, mind games, those types of games can enhance the memory power. As a consequence, sport is not only make physically fit, but also mentally as well. To cite an example, whenever students get stress or depression, so at that particular moment they play plenty of sports, it helps to more focus on the studies.
Furthermore, another reason is to concur my view, there are many students who are mentally weak in the education. However, the school provide good sport activity. As a result, pupils get chance to better performance in sports. In addition to that, some students get talent in sports so they can continue their carrier in to the sport. For instance, one of the famous football player is Cristiano Ronaldo who have better skills in foot ball, so he continue their carrier in the football and now he is the best footballer in the world.
Conversely, we do not negotiate the second extent, that primary schools are main concern is formal learning. Because students at primary school has wide range of capacity of gain more knowledge rather than sport. Moreover, many people believe that, at a little age education is the best tool to improve their successful carrier.
To recapitulate, it is essential think that primary schools are not only stay connected with formal learning, but also more focus on physical activity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position on the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the benefits of sports are mentioned, the explanation is often repetitive, such as the repeated focus on physical fitness. The counter-argument section is underdeveloped and slightly confusing in its phrasing, particularly the sentence 'we do not negotiate the second extent'. To improve, you should focus on providing more nuanced arguments and ensuring that the counter-argument is clearly linked to the overall thesis without contradicting your main position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In addition to,' and 'To cite an example,' are used frequently but sometimes incorrectly, such as 'In addition to, some sports make children physically fit'. The logical flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, making the progression of ideas feel somewhat disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the essay flow more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'neonates' (which refers to newborns, not school-aged children), 'ample of benefits', and 'carrier' instead of 'career'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and the repetition of basic terms like 'sports' and 'formal learning' hinders the overall quality. To reach a higher band, you should work on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('schools are the privilege', 'sport play a crucial role'), article usage ('the football player'), and awkward sentence construction ('there are many students who are mentally weak in the education'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. You should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.
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