Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary schools spend too much time on formal education instead of allowing children to play. I completely agree with this opinion because young children learn more effectively when they enjoy the learning process. I also believe that play is just as important as academic study in primary schools.

To begin with, many primary schools give too much attention to subjects such as mathematics, science, and language. As a result, children often spend long hours sitting in classrooms, completing homework, and preparing for examinations. This can make learning stressful and reduce their interest in school. In my opinion, young children should not face too much academic pressure because they are still developing both mentally and emotionally.

Furthermore, play plays a vital role in a child's overall development. Through games, sports, and group activities, children learn valuable life skills such as teamwork, communication, problem-solving, and leadership. They also become more creative and confident because they are free to express their ideas. For example, when children build models together or participate in outdoor games, they improve their social skills while enjoying themselves. In addition, regular play keeps children physically active, which helps them stay healthy and improves their concentration in the classroom.

In my own experience, I learned many practical skills by taking part in sports and group activities during primary school. These experiences not only made school more enjoyable but also helped me develop confidence and discipline, which continue to benefit me today.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that many primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. Children should have enough opportunities to play because it supports their physical, social, and emotional development while making learning more interesting and effective.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt clearly. You have taken a firm position regarding the over-emphasis on formal learning and provided a well-reasoned argument for the importance of play. The ideas are extended with relevant examples, such as the mention of teamwork and communication skills, and the personal anecdote in the fourth paragraph adds a nice touch of authenticity. The response is balanced and covers all requirements of the task effectively. To reach a higher band, you could further elaborate on the potential long-term consequences of a lack of play, perhaps contrasting it with the benefits of a more holistic educational approach.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You have used a variety of cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition' to link your points effectively. The referencing is clear, and the paragraphing is appropriate. The flow is smooth, and the transition between the theoretical arguments and your personal experience is handled well. The structure is coherent and supports the overall argument without any confusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas with precision. Phrases like 'overall development', 'academic pressure', and 'mentally and emotionally' demonstrate a good command of language. While the vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for the task, it is largely functional. To achieve a higher band, you could incorporate more sophisticated or less common collocations and idiomatic expressions. For example, instead of 'give too much attention', you could use 'place an undue emphasis on'. Overall, the lexical range is adequate and there are no errors that impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most of your sentences are error-free, and the punctuation is used correctly throughout. You have successfully used complex sentences, such as 'Through games, sports, and group activities, children learn valuable life skills such as teamwork, communication, problem-solving, and leadership.' There are no significant grammatical errors that hinder understanding. To improve further, you could experiment with a wider variety of complex structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, to add more sophistication to your writing.

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