Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Some people argue that primary schools devote an excessive amount of time to formal education, leaving limited opportunities for children to learn through play. I strongly agree with this view because an overemphasis on academic achievement at an early age may restrict children's overall development. I also believe that play should be regarded as an essential component of primary education rather than a reward after learning.
One reason I believe primary schools focus too heavily on formal learning is the increasing pressure to achieve high academic standards. In many countries, schools measure success mainly through examination results, encouraging teachers to spend most classroom hours teaching mathematics, science and languages. While these subjects are undoubtedly important, young children are naturally curious and learn most effectively through exploration rather than memorisation. If lessons become excessively structured, pupils may perform well in tests but fail to develop creativity, imagination and critical thinking, which are equally valuable for lifelong learning.
Play, on the other hand, contributes to children's intellectual, emotional and physical development in ways that traditional classroom instruction cannot. Activities such as role-playing, building models, participating in team sports and solving puzzles encourage children to communicate, negotiate and make decisions independently. These experiences strengthen problem-solving abilities, cooperation and self-confidence while simultaneously reducing stress and maintaining motivation. Consequently, children who regularly engage in meaningful play often become more active learners because they associate school with curiosity instead of pressure.
However, this does not mean formal education should be reduced significantly. Primary schools have the responsibility to establish strong foundations in literacy and numeracy, since these skills support all future learning. Nevertheless, academic instruction is likely to be more effective when it is balanced with opportunities for play, allowing children to apply knowledge in practical and enjoyable situations.
In conclusion, I completely agree that many primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal learning.Although academic subjects remain essential, play is equally important because it promotes creativity, social competence, emotional well-being and independent thinking. A balanced educational approach is therefore the most effective way to prepare children for both academic success and adult life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have fully addressed all parts of the prompt. Your position is clear from the introduction and is maintained consistently throughout the essay. You provide a well-developed argument regarding the overemphasis on formal learning and the necessity of play, supporting your points with logical reasoning and relevant examples, such as the mention of role-playing and team sports. The ideas are extended effectively, and the conclusion provides a balanced summary that directly answers both questions posed in the task. Your response demonstrates a high level of engagement with the topic, meeting all requirements for a Band 8 or higher.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the critique of formal learning and the benefits of play is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'consequently', 'on the other hand', and 'nevertheless', which help guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. The flow is natural and unobtrusive, demonstrating a high level of control over the structure of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a wide and flexible range of vocabulary that allows for precise expression. You use sophisticated collocations and academic terminology, such as 'excessive amount', 'academic achievement', 'lifelong learning', and 'social competence'. The vocabulary is used naturally and accurately throughout the text. There are no significant errors in word choice or collocation, and the range of vocabulary is more than sufficient to convey complex ideas with precision and style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
Your writing displays a wide range of complex structures, including conditional sentences ('If lessons become...'), participial phrases, and varied sentence lengths. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation and grammar is excellent. There are no noticeable errors that impede communication. The grammatical accuracy is consistent, and the variety of structures used contributes to the overall fluency and sophistication of your essay.
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