Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Several individuals believe that primary schools pay too much attention on formal theoretical learning. I partially agree with this view because focusing enough on learning will help them to improve memorizing skills and critical thinking, but at the same time, they should focus on sports, as it helps in overall physical development and improves communication skills while working in teams.

Firstly, if primary schools focus enough on formal learning, it will be beneficial for students to create memorization skills. For example, exams are conducted in school that test a student about how well he or she can remember the concepts. Secondly, it will increase the critical thinking and problem-solving capability of a student. For instance, courses such as, mathematics help an individual to think about different approaches to solve the problem, which cannot be learned by playing sports.

On the other hand, playing sports will help children to improve physical health. Sports such as cricket and football create the movement of the body, which will help individuals to remain fit and healthy that cannot be done with only studying. Additionally, it improves the communication skills of children. Team sports, for example, hockey and basketball, need accurate coordination to play, which in turn improves the communication ability of a child. Effective communication is necessary in personal as well as professional life.

To conclude, I believe formal learning helps children in terms of memorization power and problem-solving ability. However, sports maintain a healthy life and improve communication skills. Schools should use a balanced approach of both formal learning and sports, that is required for health and career perspective.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the link between formal learning and critical thinking, and the benefits of sports for physical and social development. However, the development is somewhat basic. For instance, the claim that sports cannot teach problem-solving is a generalization that could be challenged. To reach a higher band, the student should provide more nuanced analysis rather than listing benefits in a formulaic way. Overall, the task is addressed adequately.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' are used to signal the structure. However, the use of these devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences could be improved by using more varied linking phrases rather than relying on simple enumerators. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the student's meaning clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific language like 'formal theoretical learning', 'critical thinking', and 'accurate coordination'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of slightly unnatural collocations, such as 'create memorization skills' (better: 'develop memorization skills') and 'create the movement of the body' (better: 'promote physical activity'). While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. The errors in word choice do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a reasonable level of control, but errors persist. For example, 'pay too much attention on' should be 'pay too much attention to', and 'focusing enough on learning' is slightly awkward phrasing. There are also minor punctuation issues, such as the unnecessary comma in 'courses such as, mathematics'. While complex structures are attempted, they are not always error-free. The grammar is generally functional, but the frequency of minor errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band.

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