Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is ongoing debates on primary schools focusing too much on formal learning, while others critics that it is important to let children to play as well as learn in primary school classroom. While I believe studying definitely was essential aspect in school, however, playing in shcool offer some vital benefits that traditional classroom can't provide. This essay will discuss perpectives from both side before explaining why playing in school was equally important as studying in classroom.

On one hand, people argue that children should only focus on their academic in school as it was the only thing they have to do in school. Primary school should teach essential subjects because they are the foundation for future education. Children have to learn reading, writing, and mathematics as they are they fundamental element for before they move on to secondary school. For example, children without basic literacy and numeracy skills often struggle in science,mathematics or other subjects in school.

On the other hand, critics contend that playing is equally essential as studying as it offer numerous benefits that traditional classroom can't replicate. Playing in primary school can help build foundational brain architecture, emotional resilience and social intelligence. While traditional classroom focus on memorizing static information from books, playing activate the brain to develop advanced life skills For example, that is some researching showing that playing can build stronger cognitive and critical thinking skills. Navigating unstructured games require children to hold rules and use their thinking skills work their way through the games.

In conclusion, both formal learning and playing in school play an essential role in offering vital benefits and skills that essential for children to improve and grow. Despite the critics on playing in school, I believe a scheduled time for studying and playing it the best compromise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument for play mentions 'brain architecture' and 'social intelligence' but does not fully elaborate on how these are specifically fostered in a primary school context. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, restating the prompt rather than synthesizing the arguments. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation or a more specific, illustrative example to support the claims made.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two sides of the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, there are some minor issues with referencing and flow; for example, the phrase 'that is some researching showing' is slightly awkward and disrupts the cohesion of the argument. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the essay is easy to follow despite these minor mechanical issues.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at more academic phrasing such as 'foundational brain architecture' and 'emotional resilience'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'ongoing debates' (should be 'is an ongoing debate'), 'others critics' (should be 'others criticize'), and 'they fundamental element' (should be 'the fundamental elements'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of word forms (nouns vs. verbs).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'studying definitely was essential', 'playing was equally important', 'playing activate the brain'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'science,mathematics'). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, though they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical structures would significantly improve the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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