Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is often argued that primary schools place emphasis on formal academic learning at the expense of other aspects of children's development. I largely agree with this view because young children need opportunities to develop socially and emotionally, and play is an essential part of learning.

In many countries, primary schools are under pressure to achieve high academic standards. As a result, children spend more time studying mathematics, science, and languages while having limited time for creative or physical activities. Although strong academic foundations are undoubtedly important, an excessive focus on examination and classroom instructions may reduce children's enthusiasm for learning. For example, pupils who are constantly expected to memorize facts may become stressed or loose their natural curiosity.

Play, on the other hand, is just as important as formal education during the early years. Through games and group activities, children develop communication, teamwork, problem solving and creativity. These experiences also improve their emotional intelligence by teaching them how to cooperate, resolve conflicts, and manage their feelings. For instance, a child participating in a classroom role play activity not only practice language skills but also learns empathy by understanding different perspectives. Such activities make learning enjoyable and help children retain knowledge more effectively than the traditional teaching methods alone.

In conclusion,while formal education remains a crucial responsibility of primary schools, I believe that many institutions devote too much attention to academic achievement. A balanced curriculum that combines structured learning with meaningful play is the most effective way to support children's intellectual, social, and emotional development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response fully addresses both parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The arguments regarding the negative impact of excessive formal learning and the benefits of play are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of role-play activities to foster empathy. The ideas are extended logically, providing a balanced view that acknowledges the importance of academic foundations while advocating for a more holistic approach. The response is well-structured and directly answers the 'to what extent' and 'how important' components of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the critique of formal learning and the benefits of play is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'As a result', 'Although', 'On the other hand', and 'For instance', which help guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The flow of information is natural, and the relationship between ideas is consistently clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic context, such as 'excessive focus', 'emotional intelligence', and 'holistic approach'. The use of topic-specific language is accurate. There is one minor error where 'loose' is used instead of 'lose', but this does not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you could incorporate more sophisticated collocations or less common idiomatic expressions. Overall, the vocabulary is precise and contributes to the clarity of your arguments, showing a sufficient range to discuss the topic with flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use subordinate clauses effectively, such as 'Although strong academic foundations are undoubtedly important...' and '...while formal education remains a crucial responsibility...'. Most sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is generally strong. There is a minor subject-verb agreement error in the third paragraph ('a child... not only practice language skills but also learns'), where 'practices' would be the correct form. However, these are rare slips that do not detract from the overall clarity of your writing.

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