Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Many parents argue that the primary schools mainly focus on formal learning. I agree with this view, and I also believe that play has a vital role to play in young children's classrooms. As the different activities increase teamwork between students, they also help them to focus on their studies.
The main reason for me to believe that is young children have a very short attention span, and when they are taught for long hours without a break, it becomes hard for them to understand. But giving the students a short break and giving different activities during the break helps them to focus during the class. For example, research done by IIT Bombay suggests that teaching young children with a break and different activities helps them to focus more. Because the short breaks and activities help students to freshen up.
Another reason is that, by giving different activities to students, this helps in improving the teamwork ability between friends
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits your ability to develop your ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—agreeing that schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped. You provide a brief reason regarding attention spans and a mention of teamwork, but these points lack the depth, specific examples, and logical extension required for a higher band. To improve, you must expand each body paragraph with more detailed explanations and illustrative examples to meet the length requirement and fully explore the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into short paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the progression of ideas is limited by the brevity of the text. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'The main reason' and 'Another reason,' but the overall flow is disjointed due to the lack of supporting sentences. The final paragraph is incomplete, ending abruptly after a single sentence. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting evidence, and a concluding thought, and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally functional but quite basic. You use repetitive phrasing, such as 'different activities' and 'focus,' which limits the sophistication of your writing. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to education and child development. For example, instead of 'freshen up,' you could use 'rejuvenate' or 'enhance cognitive engagement.' Expanding your range of synonyms and collocations will help you express your ideas with more precision and academic tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical issues, such as 'The main reason for me to believe that is young children have...' which is slightly awkward, and 'the different activities increase teamwork between students, they also help them...' which is a comma splice. While your meaning is generally clear, these errors and the limited variety of sentence structures prevent a higher score. Focus on using a wider range of complex structures, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, and proofread carefully to correct basic punctuation and subject-verb agreement errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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