Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that primary schools primarily focus on formal learning. I completely agree with this statement because primary schools think that they are only responsible of students academic grades and results. The primary reason why I agree with this statement because now almost every primary school just limit itselfes to formal learning. Elementary schools believe that formal learning is the only way to teach students. While they completely un determine the other ways of teaching. Elementary school authorities fully ignored that they are also responsible for students mental, physical and overall growth. They should focus on other physical activities rather than just concentrating on formal learning. Prioritizing formal learning too much makes students to believe that education and learning is just a boring part of their life. Primary schools have to arrange functions on the topics like mother day, teacher day and labour day. This will develop empathy, gratitude and social responsibility in students. The primary schools also focus on their physical health. Health is the only factor that cannot be compromised. The healthy student perform much better than ill one's. Furthermore, the primary schools should give students a break in mid of school timing in which they can play. Every primary school must give students a sports period. It is very important for students to play along with studies. In conclusion, I strongly agree that primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning instead of their physical health. Instead of formal learning, learning through practicals and in real world should be considered.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position on the focus of primary schools and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the need for physical activities and social events like 'mother day', the arguments remain at a surface level. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how play contributes to cognitive or social development. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, and the argument could be more nuanced by acknowledging the necessity of some formal learning alongside play to create a balanced view.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', but the transitions between ideas within paragraphs are sometimes abrupt. For instance, the jump from discussing social events to physical health in the first paragraph lacks a smooth logical bridge. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some very short paragraphs that disrupt the overall progression of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the logical flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'primary schools' and 'formal learning', which appear frequently throughout the text. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'un determine' (likely meaning 'undermine') and 'ill one's' (which is grammatically incorrect). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development to demonstrate a wider lexical range and more natural control of language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'responsible of students academic grades' (should be 'responsible for'), 'limit itselfes' (spelling/grammar), and 'makes students to believe' (should be 'makes students believe'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with apostrophes and spacing. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of verb patterns and pluralisation to achieve a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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