Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is a point of debate whether primary schools rely too much on the formal learning. A significant chunk of community welcome idea, whereas remaining members oppose the same. I entirely accept the phenomenon and explain why in this essay.

There are numerous arguments which go along with my personal perspective. First and most prominent lies in the fact that human beings should be extra careful with their decisions. The teachers play a significant role in the children's lives. There are several steps taken by the teachers to expand children's learning which helps them to learn in their own pace. For instance, the primary schools' students are of the ages around 6 to 12 years. So, that ages are for learning anything with play or fun, which helps them to memorise for long time.

Despite this, the children are the fast learner, so if you teach them any topic with some relevant examples while playing, they can understand in a better way. Additionally, there are several things that teachers keep in mind to explore their creative mind, which helps in their development. However, the government should organise their study plans according to their needs for the foster development. On the other hand, it is beneficial for the children's development to learn as well as play.

All the above discussed assertions lead to the conclusion that although people enjoy numerous benefits towards the trends. So, in my opinion, it would be wise enough to say that formal learning has positive impact on the children which builds their interpersonal skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you state your position, the supporting arguments are somewhat vague and repetitive. For example, the paragraph discussing the importance of play lacks specific, concrete examples to illustrate how play facilitates learning. The conclusion is also contradictory; you initially agree that schools focus too much on formal learning, but the final sentence suggests that formal learning has a positive impact, which confuses your overall stance. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea that directly supports your thesis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often weak. Transitions like 'Despite this' and 'On the other hand' are used, but they do not always connect the preceding and following sentences logically. For instance, the transition to the second paragraph is abrupt, and the final paragraph introduces a conclusion that does not clearly follow from the previous points. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'the same' or 'that ages', which makes the flow of information feel mechanical rather than natural. Improving the use of cohesive devices to link sentences would enhance the overall readability.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'significant chunk', 'numerous arguments', and 'several things'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'foster development' (likely meant 'fostering' or 'further') and 'enjoy numerous benefits towards the trends'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic vocabulary and precise collocations that demonstrate a wider range of expression, rather than repeating common words like 'learning' and 'development'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('the formal learning'), incorrect pluralisation ('the primary schools' students'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('the children are the fast learner'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the text from achieving a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammar, particularly article usage and noun-number agreement, to ensure your sentences are more accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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