Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, some individuals think that primary schools need to more focus on formal learning. I largely disgree with this view point. My stance is discuss further with relavent examples.

To begin with, formal learning prevents cognitive development of students. To elaborate it, they only focus on pre-defined syllabus rather than studying modern contain. Also, it is also impact in their growth due to lack of awareness about other things like technologies, innovations as well as exploration. For example, some pupils have an interest in artificial intelligence but schools not provide this syllabus. Therefore, they can effects in their curriculum as well as opportunities which would they get in the future.

However, the play as well as learn is also one of the crucial thinks because schools should not force to concentrate only on learning, apart from this, they have to allowed them to playing some outdoor games. Additionally, it may be aid to children become more energetic and pay attention at particular goal. For instance, schools should organised some events like sports, quiz as well as art. As a result, they can emphasis on sustainable goal or target. Also, they become more sharp by studying and fit by playing.

To conclude, primary schools should not focus only on formal learning, instead of this, they need to update they curriculum regularly according to students interest. In contrast, schools ought to conduct different kind of events that incorporate playing games as well as learning new things which would be impact on their intellectual development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you state your position, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the claim that formal learning prevents cognitive development is a strong assertion that requires more nuanced explanation. The examples provided, such as artificial intelligence in primary school, are slightly unrealistic for the age group, which weakens the persuasiveness of your argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are fully extended with logical reasoning and more relevant, real-world examples that directly support your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'However', and 'To conclude' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To elaborate it' or 'In contrast' used incorrectly at the start of the final paragraph. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making the flow between sentences feel disjointed. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'modern contain' instead of 'modern content', 'crucial thinks' instead of 'crucial things', and 'they can effects' instead of 'they can be affected'. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the errors in word form and usage are frequent enough to occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Focusing on learning word families and common collocations will help you express your ideas more naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'schools not provide', 'schools should organised'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they have to allowed them'), and missing articles or prepositions. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately without missing auxiliary verbs.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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