Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the passing days, some people think that school should spend time on things that help children to develop there brain and physical health. In contrary, other people thinks its necessary for primary schools to focus on formal learning there reasoning is that it helps children to civilize and to build routine. However, my firm believe is that students should spend most of their time of creative things which help them memorize the experience and to do things which they want to do.

The most important part of life is memories. These memories help people to get past from hard times. So it is very important for students to play so they can become active and make lot of memories. For instance, my friend was playing volleyball and after his furious smash when he land he misbalance and pant was torn apart.

Health can not be bought with anything. And by playing in primary school it help children to become health. It makes there bones strong and resist the pain by constant fall .

For example, my friend has very stable core body due to the fact that they used to play Ice and water a lot.

In conclusion, the mindset of most people are determined by their past so its important for us to let children play in there primary school classroom so they can become healthy and build there precious memories for themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is insufficient. The ideas are simplistic and lack the depth required for an academic essay. For example, the argument regarding health is supported by a very brief, anecdotal example about a friend playing 'Ice and water,' which does not effectively illustrate the educational benefits of play. Furthermore, the essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the response. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments remain underdeveloped and lack academic rigor.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices (e.g., 'In conclusion', 'For instance'), they are used mechanically. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the anecdote about the volleyball smash feels disconnected from the main point about memories. The logical flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors, making the text feel somewhat fragmented. Improved use of linking words and better paragraph structure would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic language. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'civilize' instead of 'socialize' and 'become health' instead of 'become healthy'. The student struggles to use precise academic terminology, opting for informal phrasing like 'pant was torn apart'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of range and the persistent errors in word formation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding the range of vocabulary to include more academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('other people thinks'), homophone confusion ('there brain' instead of 'their brain', 'there reasoning'), and tense inconsistencies. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, with few successful attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. These errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, although the overall message remains understandable. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips.

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